When A Breakup Isn't Painful Enough

The tiles of the bathroom glisten in the light

Cold and silent in the hours of the morning

A boy on the ground, still and pale

A room is hidden behind a closed wooden door

Dark and disheveled with the fan off

A girl in the bed, still and sprawled

The sound of a bottle rolling across the tile

Empty and echoing with each turn

Close to the boy's hand from which it fell

A pillow lying limply against the nightstand

The blankets thick and off white

Covering the girl's head as she stays still

Both pairs of eyes open to the world

The pills all gone, the blankets layered

And neither body breathes a breath or moves

I don't want you to be that boy

And I don't want to be that girl

But this situation is overwhelming for us both

Every time you talk to me about what was

It is a blade in my soul, twisting sharply

Hidden from everyone but you and my own self

Happiness seems unattainable to both of us

Since we are the weight around each other's ankles

And are pulling each other down into the depths

I want to keep swimming up to the surface, to clear air

And I want to bring you with me and help you to swim too

But nothing I do seems to work in the slightest

I have felt everything before that you are feeling now

It is terrible, it is crushing, it is ruining

It makes a person want to cease existing altogether

But I have reached out for help, and you should too

Give yourself over to someone new, close or distant

They will help, no matter how much you fear them prior

You know that what you feel is paining you

You want it to stop, want it to change for the better

But the change begins with you and you alone

It is hard to push past the fog, the knife that twists you

However, if you manage by the skin of your teeth

It will be worth every second of your life afterwards

Please, for me, for yourself, stop this

This pain, this agony, this cling to what was

Hope for what will be, hope for the new and bright

I hear what you say; I hear it all every time you talk

The tone is clear and the message repeating and gut-wrenching

We still love each other in our hearts and souls

But if you truly loved me, you would not put me through this

Because loved ones do not perpetuate the pain

If you can surface and swim like I know you can

Break out of the zone that you have lived in for so long

Then everything can go back to light and motion

Instead of the stillness and darkness that has surrounded us

Corrupting our souls with tendrils of sickness and slime

And killing us slowly inside and out