Antagonist 2016

ANTAGONIST 2016

“Good morning, Mr. Rule.”
“Morning, Marsha.”
“Lisa.”
“Sorry, Lisa... Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure, and pretty sure you know it too, Mr. Rule. They’re all inside waiting for you…”
“How many is all?”
“You’re funny, Mr. Rule. You crack me up sometimes.”
“No, seriously. How many?”
“Oh, boy…all of them, sir. The Board of Directors.” She seemed to deflate. “All six,” she added.
“Weapons?”
“None that I saw, Mr. Rule.” She brightened again. “You are so funny.”
The great black mahogany door opened.
“Reuben! Are you coming in?”
“That’s why I’m here, Sammy-boy. Thanks, Marcia.”
The two men entered the boardroom and the door closed.
“My name, Reuben, as you very well know, is George. Now, we have quite a bit of important--”
“Sit down and be quiet, George. And good morning, lady and gentlemen!”
The five board members seated at the great table nodded at Reuben and looked away. They looked at the walls, they looked at each other. George went around and sat at the far end of the table.
Reuben, still standing, said; “Do you people know the old joke about the horse who comes into the bar?”
The five people sitting around the table nodded their heads, but just barely nodded their heads.
“With the long face?” Reuben offered. “You know, the bartender says, ‘What’ll it be’, the horse says, ‘Give me a beer’, the bartender says, ‘Sure pal, but why the long face?”
“Yes, Reuben,” George said. He was the only one looking Reuben in the eye. “I believe you’ve told us that one a time or two. Now please, if you would sit down, we’ve been waiting and we’d like to--”
“George?” Reuben said.
“We have something important we want to--”
“George?”
“If you would just sit down, Reuben,” the one woman in the room said. Her voice was whiney. Even her face was whiney.
“Shut the fuck up, Marsha,” Reuben said.
“Karen…” the woman said. She looked disgusted. “You play this game every--”
“Please, Karen?”
Karen went silent.
“Would it help any if I were to tell you, there is no need for mutiny. I’m stepping down, and I’m going to buy a sailboat and go sailing?”
He had their attention now.
“I’m out. Manny and Moe here can draw up the papers.” He waved his hand at Chapin and Brett.
The room was silent. The members at the table all looked at each other.
“I’m old and I’m tired,” Reuben said. “I’m moving on.”
“Well, that’s…that is really…”
“What, Frank?” Reuben said, his voice was soft, but with an edge to it. “What is that, really?”
“That is news to us. Have you decided on who is going to run things?”
“I think LeRoy would do very well as President. Very well, indeed!” Reuben said. He gave the stern faces at the table a child-like wave bye-bye, and opened the great black mahogany door. “Good luck,” he said, and left the room, closing the door with a solid thunk behind himself.
He smiled into the reception room.
Lisa thought he was smiling at her and smiled back. “You lived,” she said.
“Just beginning to,” Reuben said. “Right now. Good-bye, Lisa. I’m going sailing.”
“I’m glad they weren’t armed,” she said. She offered another smile.
“Oh, they were armed. Armed and ready.”
“Well, have fun, Mr. Rule.”
Reuben went down the hall and down the elevator and out into the late morning San Diego sunshine. He was still thinking about the board of directors, and still smiling when he thought of the uproar he had undoubtedly just now caused. The screaming and the hand waving that would be going on up there...
There was no “LeRoy” in the bunch.