Epipen disasters

"Well that was fucking stupid" Aaron said walking out Kyle Goldschmits Bar mitzvah
"What did you expect from the kid who shits his pants when he takes his EpiPen, and has been allergic to something in literally every school lunch this semester." I blurted aggravated at the fact that my parents made me hang out with the somehow weirdest kid in a town full of kids who masturbate in the middle of class.
" At least his mom is hot"
" Now that I think of it what the hell happened in that gene pull for him to be that ugly." I thought out loud
"Must be adopted."
" Makes sense."
"Fuck dude there she is, Mrs. Goldschmit!"
"Ahh shit dude remember that time when,oh wait nevermind."
"What?" I said confused
"It was just this (wet) dream I had about her once, I thought and wished it was real."
"Do you think she was ever weird as Kyle is"
"In hopes of Kyle being normal one day I'll say yes" stated Aaron somewhat enthusiastically
"lets go talk to her."
"Sure"
As we approached Mrs. Goldschmit Kyle bolted out of the synagogue running like a Naruto character, I realized he was on his fourth pair of T.J. Maxx dress pants of the day.
"Ah fuck the epi pen shit master showed up" I whispered to Aaron
"Abort, ABORT!" Aaron said
"Oh hello there Aaron and Matthew it appears our fates have crossed once again I see hehe" Kyle cringe-fully spit out
" Yeah hey, it does appear we have crossed paths" said Aaron
" You boys are so cute, I"m glad you two could come"
"I'll cum on you anytime" Aaron and mutually thought in our minds
"Wouldn't miss it for the world" we both said
" Well maybe there wont be a world to miss after I gather all of my evil sidekicks" Kyle said
We both ignored him
"Alright we'll see you boys later Kyle and I have to pick up some pants from the dry cleaner"
" Uhmm, I got dirt in them while battling Onyx of Elkton the destroyer of the bright realm"
"Sounds like a tough battle"
"Hmph not if your a level 75 mage"
"Wow impressive you'll have to show me later, see ya soon."
"I'll see you mortals later" he said diving in to the back of a beige minivan
"He's so fucking weird" I said