A little note.

I find myself doing things a little bit unusual today. Like sitting alone in the dark, awake, in silence with no agenda. And sitting outside in the rain in the middle of a lightning storm. My skin actually feels comfortable today. It is rather quite amazing the power of music. Words, in particular, arranged in just the perfect way, to tell a story, to heal a heart even. How does that work? I listened to a new song today ten times in a row. Singing loudly as if it was mine that I wrote. For some reason the words, the tone, the voice, tugged at my heart strings. It slowly made me feel stronger, important, loved. Though the neighbours might strongly disagree, but my even voice matched hers. Even as I sit here reflecting on all those moments that brought me to this one, I don't regret a thing. But I don't know how to stay. The moment my foot hits the dirt outside I"m consumed by the world's grief. My heart absorbs the toxins, and I am no longer free. Words escape me, and I start stumbling around. Forgetting all the confidence I had stored up, and I don't know which emotion to act on. I don't want to leave this space until I can figure it out. Until I can learn the triggers, and calm my heart.

~DeeJ