St. Ronika Sample #3

A little while after that, I started showing Miyra the ropes. There wasn't too much to show, it was mainly just getting her familiar with the layout of the store. Being a clerk certainly isn't hard, after all, I did it for a long, long while. It became second nature to me, despite how much I despise talking to strangers. A lot of the people that came in though weren't half bad and some of them were really quite pleasant to talk to so it wasn't all bad. Still though, for someone as socially awkward as me, Miyra stepping in to do clerk work was a god send. It also allowed me time to get other stuff done, such as procuring more items to sell. This is all what I thought, but as I was telling Miyra what she needed to do, I slowly started realizing this relationship may not smooth over so well, despite how nice either of us were to people we didn't know.

"Your father's influence must not have been very strong if yours is so flat," Miyra commented, rather unnecessarily at that, after I just got done mulling over the fact that I don't get many customers. Needless to say, it kind of bothered me.

"Shut up. It's not my fault he was so passive when it came to advertising. I was going to fix that today, but..." Miyra looked over at me a little inquisitively as I trailed off.

"But...?" Miyra's insistence that I continue only made me sigh though, as I really didn't feel like reproducing the day's events, as they were really boring when it came down to it.

"It's nothing. I'm probably just really passive too. I know what I need to do but... I just can't be bothered to."

"Do you actually wonder why you never get any customers...?" Miyra's smart aleck question made me realize that she had probably been skeptical of her new employment for a while, but was going to stick to it anyways, either out of sheer honor, or just the fact that there was nothing better she could be doing at that moment.

"No, not really, all I really worry about is just keeping the shop running. I don't have any fancy goals or anything like that. I just want to keep myself steady." Tilting her head, Miyra then made a weird comment.

"Huh, that's really inhuman, you know." I couldn't do anything but give her the strangest look for choosing the strangest words, but as she turned to the mostly bare shelves, she explained. "I know a lot of the people down at the slums. Because of the way it is down there, everyone has to work together to survive. Eventually, I want to be able to gather up all the people that live down there and help them all, while they're helping each other. I want to give them all something better, because I feel they all deserve it. To do that, I'd need more government power, as well as a ton of money." I saw, then, that she wasn't just in it to keep her mother alive and well, and get herself out of the lower quarter. She wanted everyone she knew to be out of there, to be comfortable, and happy. Her goals were certainly a lot more ambitious than mine.

"Sounds like you have your work cut out for you... I never had any big dreams like that myself to begin with though. As long as I was happy with what I had, I was fine." I explained it simply, how it is, but Miyra still felt the need to laugh a bit.

"That's amazingly simple of you, Sam. But are you sure there wasn't anything in the world that you could want?" Well, some things were obvious. If I were rich, life would be even easier, but it isn't as if my current life didn't have it's good points I wouldn't have if life were as easy as magically producing money to solve all my problems. After looking up, I thought of something embarrassing, but I decided to divulge it anyways for some reason, I guess because for a brief moment I fooled myself into thinking this woman was as kind and benevolent as my mother.

"Ah, well, I guess I wouldn't mind a hubby at some point. Not just some throw away or casual one either, someone that I would definitely love with all my heart and never want to betray." Another snicker signing the fact that Miyra was withholding more laughter was I needed to look at her angrily, but she waved her hand dismissively, trying to explain herself.

"I-I'm sorry! It's just, from my first impression of you, I thought that would be one of the last things I'd hear you say. But I like it. It's comforting. You're not as cold as you seem at first glance. I'm glad to be working with a real human being."

... all I could do was look at her embarrassed. I was certain my cheeks were red. I wanted to say something mean, but I knew for a fact she wasn't being sarcastic. Not by any stretch of the means. Not with the kind of genuine smile she flashed me then. Knowing who she worked with, who she must have dealt with, and the hardships she endured trying to get out of the lower quarter, it was very understandable that she would lose a little faith in the civilization around her. Knowing all that, I felt the urge to understand her more rise, but I held back. Then wasn't the time. Not yet. I simply looked back at the shelves and decided, after a few moments, I would continue showing her the ropes. It was then I thought, I wanted this relationship to be a little more then just... employer to employee. It'd been a long time since I had any friends, I figured then might have been a good time.

Not much else happened that seemingly fateful day. Having Miyra work right away felt like it would be too soon, so after I gave to her everything that she should expect, I sent her home to tell her mother the good news and rest for the day. I didn't think about it too much at the time, but I didn't actually get to see if any of the clerk uniforms my father had saved up in the closet would fit her. I didn't think of it likely because of the fact that I was always staring at her in the maid uniform, which she incidentally went home in supposedly. I never found out what became of that uniform...

The following day, I woke up early, as much as I didn't want to. I needed several details worked out, first and foremost being that I needed to tell Sousha what was up. I didn't consider it to be too urgent to tell Sonja, despite my promise to her, because that was still quite a ways away, and I knew she would find out about this from Sousha sooner or later. Second, I needed to know what I would be delivering for Jennifer. I don't have a wagon of my own, so I had to prepare for the possibility that I might have to rent one of my own if I couldn't borrow one from her. I had to make sure I didn't stay out too late either, since Miyra would be waiting at the shop for me this morning. I planned to get everything done before she came around, which is why I woke up early. I already made preparations for the trip when it came to my shop, so having her come there to see a locked building would be a little embarrassing.

"Hey, Sousha!" I called out to him in one of the church's dark corridors. This incited a surprised, shocked and then panicked reaction from him as he turned around.

"Uwah! M-Miss Samantha, you're not allowed to be back here...!" I simply rolled my eyes as I approached my good friend. I wasn't about to let details like that stop me.

"Oh, please, the people here know me just as well as anyone else here. It's fine. They know that if I have business with you, it's okay no matter what you're doing." In response to that, Sousha gave me this expression that had a strange mix of sternness and worry.

"Th-That's not true, I'm really busy all the time and I-I can't really have visitors all the time because of that..."

"Oh come on," I started off with, placing a hand on his nervous shoulder, "I'd never bother you if you were doing something really important, but it's not like everything you do is terribly urgent. You gotta take a break once in a while, like yesterday, with Sonja." Sousha feverishly shook his head at my notion, trying his best to dismiss it.

"N-No! That w-was a business meeting! M-Miss Sonja runs the Royal Library, so sometimes we have i-important things to discuss." At the time I didn't really believe it. Still though, he continued. "I-I was also forgoing work to get that lunch in too... today I'm on my way to a meeting, then I must talk with the royal family, after that, I have a stack of paperwork to get done with, and none of that is c-considering that I have to meet with a few other people today, a-and--"

"Were you even going to eat lunch today?" I head Sousha off and interrupted him briefly to ask an all important question, to which he froze up in response to before looking down a bit shamefully.

"... n-no..." My reaction was a big, deep sigh. I couldn't believe it, after so long, he was still abusing his body. It was no wonder why he was so short and skinny. He doesn't very good care of himself, evidently, and I always sighed everytime that fact came back around to my ears.

"That's no good, Sousha. Not even merchants work that crazily. Like I said, you have to take a break once in a while. How about I talk to some of these people that are keeping you so busy while you get some rest someday?" I would have loved to promise him that right then and there for that day, but my agenda had more important things on it. Either way, I got the expected rejection that I saw coming a mile away.

"I-I'm sorry, Miss Samantha, but that would probably just cause more trouble then would be worth..." As much as that hurt, I could understand how that would come into being.

"I figured as much, but that doesn't mean you should neglect yourself so much, you know. Although I'd appreciate it you weren't so brutally honest about that next time, I don't think I bother you that much..." As I was about to lament on the thought of Sousha seeing me as a bothersome pest, a real one took me by surprise and said something particularly unsavory.

"You're bothering him now, aren't you?" I turned myself around to see the owner of the young, yet stern voice. The sharp, silvery hair, the mean looking eyes, and the royally tough physique under the equally royal clothes he wore. I already knew whose voice it was without having to turn to see him, but I knew if I didn't lock eyes with him, I would be admitting defeat right there.

"S-Sir Skye..." Sousha trailed off as he watched the much bigger man walk up to me. Make no mistake, I'm still taller than he is, certainly, maybe a tad bigger too, but he is many times more fit than I am. It's not hard to see why, once you understand that I rarely get any exercise, while Skye is a trained swordsman, who endured just as many years of grueling discipline as Sousha as, but far more physical.

"I just came here to tell him something important," I started explaining myself, "is that a crime?" The eyes on Skye always looked stern and angry, but everytime they were trained on me, I could swear they held a deep, seething hatred that wished to bore holes through my skull.

"Whatever you could have to say to him could never be as important as his job, but I wouldn't expect a moron like you to know just how important his job is." It's like this every time. He hates me. I hate him. There was nothing stopping us from flinging insults at each other, not even Sousha.

"Excuse me for not being stuck up like you are, but Sousha's personal life is important too, just as important as his job." Skye's sneer could probably freeze hell, I experienced just how chilling it was first hand after I made that comment.

"One life is more important than the lives of the entire city? Is that what you're telling me?"

"If that one life isn't cared for enough to do that job, then everyone else may as well be moot point!" As the tension rose, I could feel the fear of impending disaster emanating from Sousha, but we all knew there was nothing he could do about it.

"That's just like you," Skye continued, seemingly calmer than before, but I knew he was about to land a finishing blow, in his eyes. "You never see the bigger picture. You're always just concerned with yourself and whatever's related to you. That's exactly why you'll never be anyone important to anyone but yourself." I could immediately tell Sousha was about to refute that claim, by saying that I was important to him, but I didn't want to get him involved, forcing me to say what was on my mind at the time before Sousha could say anything.

"And what makes you so important?! Being the Duke's pompous son?! At least I concern myself with the actual people that I know, and not their image!" It was at that point I found myself yelling, rather unsightly of me to be doing so in middle of the church halls, and Skye knew this. He found it pretty insulting, so of course he was on edge enough to start doing it himself.

"What is that supposed to mean?! Your image is a part of who you are!"

"In that case, it's no wonder why everyone hates you and your tyrannical father!" Skye didn't like that at all, and I could tell. His fists balled up and he gritted his teeth as his calm demeanor started crumbling away under his feet. Of all things, he was sensitive the most about his father.

"You wanna say that to my face again...?!" As soon as he said that, I made a fatal mistake.

"Try me!"

I should have known he would have socked me in the jaw for my insolence, even if I was a girl. After all, my father took his father's pride with him when he left.

Dad never told me about his swordplay lessons. He did tell me that he wanted to be a soldier when he was young, but quickly gave up on that and followed an occupation that he was actually naturally skilled at. He said that he admired the kind of reputation soldiers and knights got, and found things easier to do when he was given orders to do them. He also really enjoyed helping people. But at heart, he was a coward. He hesitated, a lot. Such hesitation isn't meant for battle. Hesitation will only get you killed. My father was absolutely frightened of being killed. The very idea of death was a heavy one on him, and it was doubtful that he could even take another's life with that mindset. Despite that, it didn't stop him from trying. He knew the Duke of this country very well, and I heard he asked to be taught how to wield the sword. In fact, the Duke was practically his best friend... me and Skye never really got along well, but our fathers were inseparable... or, so I thought.

The Duke was a very harsh man... which probably explains why Skye turned out the way he did. The Duke probably said some very hard things to my father... he was someone who didn't forgive weakness. Something my father showed a lot of. He was someone who demanded absolute perfection, no matter who it was, whether it was his son, or his best friend. I noticed my father had gotten a lot slower after my mother died. That must have made the Duke even angrier. I guess my father just grew tired of it one day... although I can't say that it was the reason why he fled, every time I see Skye, I can't help but blame him and his stupid father for it. I never suspected a thing until it actually happened either, he was usually so cheerful and upbeat... I wonder how Skye's father felt about that. I wonder if that annoyed him further. I wonder if deep down, he actually hated my father for what he had become. A weak, lonely man with no real drive, other than his deadbeat daughter. I want to call him weak, I want to call him a coward for what he did, and not just settling things in a civil manner, but... how could I call someone I loved, someone I looked up to and adored with all my heart, weak and a coward? I would be no different from the Duke if I did that.

Skye hates me for a similar reason. Sometime after my father ran away, the Duke got really ill. Apparently, he never recovered, and lived two entire years feeling weak and pitiful all the way up until he died, succumbing to his weakness. A very karmic death, I felt it was, and when I made that known, Skye took it as the biggest insult he had ever taken in his life. Not like he didn't already hate me by that point anyways, as he continuously blamed me for his father falling ill like he didn't know any better. He must feel that my father running away must have caused the illness, even though that makes little sense. I think he's just looking for a reason to hold a grudge against me. Now, these days, he acts much like his father did before mine flew the coop. I'm not sure if I really act like my own, though. I'm far too cynical, far too anti-social, I just can't pull off the smiling face that he did every time I looked at him. My father and the Duke were as different as night and day, but... I think me and Skye are even more different, and what happened between them has only widened that gap.

Time passed after that, quite normally. Sousha knew Skye just as well as I did, being in the service of the royal family, technically. Every time I saw the two together, Skye would be in middle of being hard on the poor kid, and I couldn't help but try and stop it. That, too, likely made me and Skye drift further and further apart. Sousha, however, always defended Skye. I always used to think that it was simply because he was too nice, but lately I had been realizing that he is actually rather close to the guy, as difficult as it is for me to comprehend. I imagine that during and after the time the Duke got sick, Sousha must have comforted Skye over the course of the years. I was quite ignorant of it up until just recently, though, even so, I don't think that would have changed how I felt about him either way. He was just a person I was destined to hate, much like how I was fated to be hated by him. It was unavoidable in the end I guess, with our fathers falling out, we ended up suffering for it. Suffer for it we shall too, to the very bitter end. That's how I feel.

"Tch, what was that?" I hear Skye's voice, even though my senses were just knocked right out of me. "You asked for it, and you just fall right away?" I can't see. I can't feel. I felt for a moment that I might have been tasting my own blood.

"M-Miss Samantha!" I heard Sousha's voice next to me, even though I must be writhing on the ground by now. I truly am weak, just like my father. "S-Sir Skye, there was no need to do that! Against a g-girl, no less--"

"Girl? That thing is too low to be called human." Yeah, that's right. I was worthless. I was meaningless, my life was pointless. I knew that fact all too well.

"S-Sir Skye...!"

"That's enough, Sousha," I say a bit weakly as my senses came back to me. I wiped my mouth and stood up with help of a nearby wall. I was too low to be called human, I knew that, but I certainly wasn't going to take that laying down. "There's no point in talking sense into someone even lower than me."

"Do you really think you're so witty?" Skye asked, with a stern look on his face. Yeah, that's right, I remembered at that point that he never took jokes very well.

"In comparison to you, yeah. Your face pisses me off so much that it gives me inspiration."

"Give it a rest," he said noncommittally, as if he grew bored of the situation now that he had struck me. "I didn't do anything to you or your old man."

"That sounds so wrong, coming from your mouth." Skye ignored my comment though, and looked at Sousha.

"What are you gawking at? Don't you have work to do?" Bringing up why this conflict in the hallways started in the first place wasn't sitting well with me, more so than usual as everything he did didn't sit well with me for the most part.

"Leave him out of this! This is between us!" I must have let my anger shoot up higher than his somehow, as he just gives me a disgusted look.

"What? I told you, I don't have business with you, leave me alone." That made me grit my teeth, as he was just trying to brush me off then. But as I looked at Sousha, seeing his apologetic face, I remembered.

"I-... I-I'm sorry, Miss Samantha."

I remembered that I was truly alone in this world.

I never got to tell Sousha what I was there for. I just left feeling defeated and dejected. I left in a hurry too, knowing Sousha would try to stop me if I wasn't fast enough. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to be near them anymore. I didn't want to feel alone anymore.

I ended up just heading to the general store that Jennifer worked at in a terrible mood. I was really good at hiding my true emotions though, so I didn't worry about leaving the wrong impression on her. All I needed to do was get the details for the delivery and borrow a wagon with a horse if possible and then get out of there. Of course, these goals had in mind the assumption that the person I would be negotiatiing with was an ordinary, normal human being. I had completely forgotten at the time that Jennifer was anything but.

"--and then, after I had put all the boxes of cookie mix away, I realized that the entire counter was covered in peanut butter! I really, really love peanut butter but that was a really panicky moment for me because I didn't know what daddy would think if he had saw the kitchen in such a mess, and as much as I love it, I wasn't about to go ahead and lick it right off the counter, because you know, even though you cut and prepare food on that it can still get really dirty, and that's why kitchen cleanliness is really important, especially if you're serving food to guests because you don't want them to get sick or anything, not only is that proper manners, but they could get really angry with you and then do something bad to you legally, which is what daddy always warns me about because getting out of legal trouble is every bit as messy as a ton of peanut butter all over the kitchen, which reminds me--"

The sheer endurance of this woman's mouth baffled me beyond belief, and I could not wrap my head around how she could just keep talking for hours on end without even coming to a full stop, for even a brief second. She didn't even talk that fast, which is probably what bothered me most about it at the time, because I was in a hurry, but I had absolutely no room to interrupt her without being rude. I wasn't even sure if she would hear me over her endless banter that switched gears more often then I could count. Somewhere in middle of her ranting, I had completely forgotten what I had come there for, and I didn't even remember what happened that started her on that verbal rampage. I must have been standing there slack jawed for a really long while, because before I knew it, Miyra was walking in and ever so kindly stopping Jennifer's crazy snowball effect.

"Sam? What're you doing here?" Miyra asked without being fully aware of Jennifer's mouth running away with whatever's on her mind at the current millisecond. This, thankfully, brings her mind back down to earth.

"Ah, Miyra! I was just telling Samantha about the peanut butter incident, you know the one with--"

"Yes, yes, I know that one, you don't need to repeat it." Miyra's quick thinking seems to be the only thing I have to combat Jennifer's absolute infatuation with flapping her lips while nonsensical noise comes out. At that point my bearings were more or less back together and I decided to address the problem of me not being at the shop.

"Eh, sorry Miyra, I came here to get the wagon and package to deliver before you came to work, but uhm..." Miyra just shook her head understanding, knowing full well what being on the opposite end of Jennifer's army of words is like.

"It's alright, really. I came here to do the same, actually. Sorry for not telling you." That relieved me, somewhat. "So, Jennifer, you said we could do that delivery job for you?" Miyra asked as she turned to the clueless clerk that I was being assaulted by mentally just earlier.

"Oh! That's right--" Jennifer walked back around the counter, as for some unknown reason she was in front of at the time I walked in, and ducked underneathe it, pulling out an awfully large box. It didn't look heavy, at least not if she was able to pull it out and onto the counter without clumsily fumbling it. "A store in Farthe asked for a parcel of hot glue and said it was urgent, so the sooner you can deliver it, the better."

Farthe was a port town on the far southern end of the country, and was a primary source of trade for us without having to cross the desert devoid of life. It's the only place where ships can dock into the country, as every other side was blocked by sheer cliffs of incredible magnitude. As a result, many ships come and go at a frequent pace and Farthe ends up having a foreign, rustic air to it, encouraged by the massive harbor that makes up most of the southern end of town. Being a trade hot spot, many merchants set up shop and it's a lucrative place to buy and sell, though because of my own obligations, I don't think I'd ever end up moving there. Why glue though? Why is it urgent? As I took the package into my arms, I felt it might be better if I didn't ask unnecessary questions. I, of all people, know all too well how scary merchants can be, in and out of their business.

"That's fine," Miyra replied, looking over at me afterwards. "We can go today in that case, right?" I looked over at Miyra, making sure the parcel is secure in my arms.

"I think so, but I don't have a wagon yet." I looked over at Jennifer to gauge her reaction, but it was a pleasantly surprised one for some reason.

"Oh! That's okay, you can borrow the one we usually use, it should be good to go already."

"Eh? Really?" This time, I was the surprised one. "And us taking it is okay with you?" The young woman nodded rather gleefully, it seemed she trusted us to do good on her.

"Of course. After all, Miyra will be with you, right?" Upon being mentioned, the woman next to me responds.

"Yeah, I'll make sure she doesn't get into any trouble or do anything bad like stealing." My heart sank a little at the prospect of knowing how little I was actually trusted deep down, though I just ignored it for the time being and hoped it was a joke.

"Ah... well, in that case, we should get ready to go now, shouldn't we?" I asked as I turned to Miyra. The gleaming smile she beamed back at me told me that this was likely going to be a rather nice trip.

After Jennifer showed me the modest wagon, which really seemed more like a giant box missing one side on wheels with a single horse, which she lovingly called George for some strange reason, me and Miyra took it back down to my shop to fill it with enough supplies, or at least enough money, to make it to Farthe and back. I wasn't going to splurge on any inn rooms, in fact, if it were just me alone, I'd rather sleep in the wagon the entire way, but I know that's both foolish and disrespectful to Miyra, my new employee. Still though, I intended on making as much profit out of it as possible, and I made it well known.

"You mean to say that's all we're eating the entire way?" Miyra's question wasn't an unexpected one. I'm a really light eater, especially when I'm on the road, but I can't imagine anyone else being this light.

"I'll be bringing some extra money with me just in case it's not enough or it gets stolen, but I'd like to go the whole way without having to buy any food." An understandable sentiment, as food for travelers tends to be much more expensive at times, but Miyra wasn't seeing eye to eye with me. Probably because five apples, a small bag of jerky, two dried salamis and some trail mix is hardly enough to feed most one person throughout four or five days, much less two. "It might be a little rough but I think we can manage, and afterwards we'll be able to let go as much as we--... eh?" I had to stop, because Miyra was giving me the most begging look I've ever seen the grown woman wear. Admittedly, I hadn't known her for very long at that point, but I don't really see her with that kind of look later on either.

"You're... actually going to let me starve... after so long of living in the slums..." I knew it was a trick. I was positive it was a trick. But unfortunately, it worked.

"Ah, fine, fine. I'll pack more food, but it's coming out of your pay." Miyra simply closed her eyes, victorious.

"That's fine, I wouldn't want my pay to go anywhere else anyways." After she said that though, she looked through the packed wagon a little more. "Still though, it amazes me that you've put almost twice as many clothes in here as you have food. Most people do it the other way around." I didn't need to be told that. Even as an adult, a six foot tall one nonetheless, I had too many clothes, all of different variety. I liked wearing something different each day, it's a habit my father got me into. He spoiled me so much and highly enjoyed seeing me walk around in so many different styles, so many different clothes, it was almost worrying. The shop actually has a store room almost packed to the brim with all my old clothes, because I couldn't bear throwing away anything with such high sentimental value.

"Well, what about you? Are you even packing any clothes or are you going to wear the uniform that I gave you all the way through?" Miyra shook her head, and lifted up one of the bags she had been holding. It was a rather crude way of traveling with clothes but I wasn't about to point this out, seeing as how she lived in the slums and all. I was just going to hope no one else would notice.

"I brought another set of clothes here, in case I have to take these off. I really don't have many other sets of clothes... being poor and all." Miyra was looking down as she was saying this, and she was clearly ashamed of it. Being a merchant, falling that far into debt and poverty was one of my greatest nightmares, so seeing someone at the bottom like that was depressing and terrifying, but at the same time, it was encouraging because I didn't want to be the one in Miyra's position. I put a hand on Miyra's shoulder, reassuring her.

"It's fine, if it comes down to it, you can wear something of mine. I'm not sure if they'll really fit you, all things considered..." I looked down at Miyra, I was tall, but when I thought about it, Miyra was quite tall for a woman too. I was a tree, a behemoth, but she wasn't that much shorter than me. She certainly looked much more fit, and had a better figure, for sure, so my clothes would have been a little baggy on her, but... "well, looking at it, I think you'll be fine if that comes to pass." Miyra just put on a complicated expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?" With a simple laugh, I went ahead with my business and finished packing up what we needed for the trip. It was going to be a long one, but not one I hadn't been on before.