I'd seen this character before. What was he selling? |
Strange sounds were coming from downstairs. At least that's what Carol claimed when she elbowed me. "Wake up," she said. "Somebody's downstairs!" I glanced at the clock. 4:00 AM. A great way to start another tough day at work. Couldn't even get a few more hours of sleep. Creeping down the stairs, I heard something too. Not loud. A slight scratching. Then a crash. Something got knocked over. Probably in the dining room. Turned right at the bottom of the stairs, and flipped on the lights. For crying out loud. A stupid squirrel on the dining room table. "Good evening Mr. Morrison," the squirrel said, standing up just like you and me. My first thought was that this had to be a dream. Had to be. "What is it Mike," Carol hollered down the stairs. "You wouldn't believe it," I replied. "It's an orange squirrel." "Like the ones on TV?" she asked. Reminded me of where I'd seen this creature before. "If this is an ad," I asked, "what are you trying to sell me?" "Nothing Mr. Morrison," the squirrel replied. "Nothing." "Then what?" I asked. "Are you a piece of bad meat as Scrooge asked?" "Ah, 'A Christmas Story'," the squirrel replied. "Truly a classic." A literate squirrel. Who knew. "But that's not why I'm here." the squirrel said. Continuing, " we've seen recent signals from your planet where humans and orange squirrels converse intelligently. We're representatives of our universe, and wanted to make contact in a way that you'd be comfortable with." "Well, as long as you're not selling insurance, we can talk." |