Go Ahead, then If you would like

Go ahead if you like, you will no matter what I say.
Act as if I am the most high maintenance female in the world.
As if the mere thought of me is exasperating,
And you just cannot handle me in the least right now.
Go ahead if you like,
But I would like to remind you of actions and reactions.

I would like to tell you that your reaction to me needing you to be strong for me, and be there.
With you gone, not even a phone call away.
Does not make me feel much different.
About me, about you, about us it changes everything.

I know, I have been impossible, but I would assume you would be as well.
I am trudging through hell right now you see, I
am engulfed in terror and my worst nightmares.
I just don’t have the luck of waking up.
My nightmares are my reality.

You had promised to love me through them, to never never never let me go.
So why am I here alone?
Feeling so worthless and alone? Feeling rejected, humiliated.
Unimportant, and replaceable.

You are angry? I am too, do you not think I am angry that life has broken me.
Turned me into someone I never wanted or thought I would be.
Don’t you think, I would just like to be okay?
Would that not solve most of my issues I have such difficulty facing?

Would it not be nice to just feel normal?
to feel okay with myself maybe? if only just for a moment?
Yet here we stand and our future is being written out,
And I wish you would take the time to see this .

Do you in ten years, want me by your side?
In twenty years, are you going to want to sit and think of all of our amazing memories?
Are you going to want to grow old with me?
In a happy loving and trusting relationship?
Where we are there for each other?

Then maybe, perhaps maybe you should choose to be by my side now.
Maybe perhaps, to ensure me in your future you should show me how much you need me in it.