Broken letter

I could feel him coming closer. In late autumn he was a cold wind, late at night he was the approaching darkest hour. He held us captured in the realm that was that hour. Even during the day, I could get sucked into that place. The black mist would surround me and hold me captive. If I remembered anything that could comfort or offer a shred of light, the mist would distort it. A smile would turn vicious or taunting, words echoed with emptiness and love I felt became painfully punishing.
The sun had left the horizon and the warmth it gifted slowly faded. No time of the day was more ruthless than that hour before sunrise. All I tried to protect, what I wanted to keep secret so he couldn't reach it, I hurriedly gathered what was most precious to hold it close. Wrapping it up in the arms of my inner child, sending her to hide in the garden. She ran through the gate, over the stone covered path, her naked feet whipping the smooth marble. She ran past the well across the overgrown grass towards the thorn bushes. It was the safest place she knew.
I had let him get closer. Not because I was arrogant or over confident. Not because I was blind to what he would bring. I knew there were things I had to try to keep safe. I knew that he would start to rip it apart if I gave it to him. So I closed the heavy gates to my heart. But some how he seemed to get to it anyway. The night had slowly drained me for my strength and my naïve believes were left bare. Even in the protection of the garden, the darkness planted inside had grown too wild. So I smiled while he tore my love apart. Patiently I kept making paper flowers for him. He would pick the petals off one by one, spread them into the wind. He would burn them, cut them, drop them in a stream and watch them float away. And I kept making new ones. I could sit alone in a ocean of flowers, sure that he couldn't possibly destroy them all at once. He would fall down on us, me and my flowers, like a roaring comet, have the gravity pull him towards me in fearful speed and strike down annihilating everything within the radius my eyes could reach. He would come from below, open up the ground and swallow us whole.