Housekeeper

When I was a secretary it was okay to be called a secretary. Now you are an admin assistant. Now that Iâm a housekeeper I get it. There are cleaners and there are housekeepers. On a bad day Iâm a cleaner.
I work in peopleâs homes as a housekeeper. Sometimes I never meet them but I know more about them in a few short hours than a lot of their neighbours do. It used to amaze me that Iâd go into very expensive condoâs and homes and see the worst chaos and dirt! Now I realize that we are all so busy that it is just not a priority. There are those however, who just donât get it. And those who like to look like money but really donât have it. I amuse myself by wondering about some of the things I see. Do you wonder what your housekeeper thinks? Well, here are some thoughts.
Why is it that you live in a $300,000 condo but have one set of dirty, stained sheets, no mattress and pillow covers. Okay, the dust and dirt I get. Youâre busy. But seriously. Go shopping. You can do it on line. And the towels. One set of beige towels with bleach stains. I wash them every time I come without being asked because I just canât stand the smell.
I see your stuff, your oils and toys and the hand marks on the walls over your head board. I clean them without saying a word, wondering. Must be fun to live in a fancy condo.
Your kitchen is filled with every kind of tea, and sauce and power bar you can buy. So much stuff. Drawers of candy and every type of liquor you can buy. Three dozen pairs of designer sun glasses, forty pairs of ankle high boots (are you in the army?), fifty baseball caps (one in every part of the condo). You do have time to shop! Please leave a tip if youâre expecting me to wash the dishes from last nightâs dinner party. Itâs not part of the deal. That is the housekeeperâs job, not your cleaning lady (see the difference?).
If I go to a home over and over again I start to feel like the housekeeper. I do little extras and no one ever mentions it. Like buying (at my own expense) the newest type of toilet puck (not part of the cleaning cost) and popping them in. I know the toilet will be cleaner for me next time I come and so itâs a slightly selfish move on my part. Or noticing for the last three cleans that your shower curtain is moldy. I bring a new liner. You donât say a word!
If I do see you I may mention ways to make it easier to keep your home clean between cleans like using daily shower spray (again, so selfish on my part) and having that extra set of sheets that you left clean on top of the bed so that I can change the bed for you! Or that instead of using Fabreez you can buy some organic lavender oil, put a few drops with some water in a spray bottle and have a handy, organic room freshener at a much cheaper price. I have so many tips. Iâm the housekeeper.
I worked briefly as a housekeeper for a family with grown teenage boys. It was an eye opener to be sure. The boys would come home at 3 and expect dinner by 3:30. If I served it later they would be too full from junk food. They would come home, drop their clothes on the floor and put on sweat pants (like they were senior citizens in a home) and lie in bed playing video games. Dinner would be eaten in their own rooms, separately in bed. Seriously. The parents would eat on their own later. Rarely together. It was very sad. I tried to get them to eat with me but they wouldnât. And so I ate alone at the dinner table. I would cook pulled pork and roast chicken and more. After a while the father made the comment that I didnât need to cook fancy every night. There were five of us eating. I didnât consider that fancy. It was dinner. They preferred frozen chicken nuggets and fries. They never ate a salad and rarely ate vegetables. I did get them to drink green juices now and then. I disguised the greens by adding orange and apple and pears to sweeten them up. It wasnât really appreciated by the parents. The mother started doing the shopping and I would find that nothing on my list would come home. It was back to chicken nuggets.
People with lots of money like to have their clothes ironed. I would work all day and spend the evening ironing clothes that were actually not designed to be ironed. Expensive leggings made of man made fibres. Light iron. Very light. I spent my evenings for several weeks ironing shirts and t shirts and even underwear. It was too much. Steamers make more sense.
I love doing housekeeping even though I make a little fun. To be able to walk into a beautiful but dirty home and make a huge difference feels good. I know how it feels to come back to a clean home. Itâs relaxing to come home to a pleasant smell, an organized space and time to do other things.
We clean under beds (where you leave things youâve forgotten, long covered in dust) and in your closets and kitchen cupboards. Making things sparkle is like magic. Cleaning your toilet becomes mundane. No big deal. I donât even think about it. But physically itâs hard! Kneeling and reaching far back and behind. Lots of paper towels to get the dust and the hair. Doing it quickly because you NEVER book enough time. I did a three bedroom three bathroom condo yesterday in 4.25 hours and was paid 3 hours. No comment. No tip. I stayed to finish it because I canât walk out with half of it done.
If you love your housekeeper (I mean not in the biblical sense of course) then tip her. Leave her a candy bar or a drink. Let her know that sheâs appreciated. The nicer you are to her, the longer sheâll stay and the cleaner your home will become. In the end itâs all about you.