Celestia is a Mass of Incandescent Gas

Another slice of cake vanished into her gaping maw. A gold shoed hoof delicately arose to cover a petite burp. While everyone seated at the small table didn't bat an eye, the collective heartbeat of the room rose greatly. They knew what was coming later and they had no means of stopping it or escaping. Princess Celestia, despite her constant food consumption, kept her svelte frame. She managed to vent that extra mass in... other ways. And what were the delegates to say to her methods? She was still princess, and not just that, she was a fantastic leader for Equestria; they merely had to put up with it. More cake pieces gracefully disappeared down her gullet, the practiced moves of an experienced glutton, and she returned to her speech. "I thank you all for appearing at my gracious table for a diplomacy meeting, I hope we all have a productive night," she said, a royal smile spreading across her clean lips,"let's get down to business." She clapped her hooves and the lights went low and a projector was started up. Seated atop her throne, Celestia begin presenting information about the various sectors of Equestria all the while devouring more food when her fellow delegates spoke. In the middle of one of her slides, Celestia, without warning or even a hint of noticed, started her 'method'. *prrfffftttt* The small sound squeaked out from underneath her. It had begun. The other diplomats nervously fidgeted knowing the impending storm that was coming. They also knew the importance of this meeting for their own regions and the stability of Equestria as a whole so they braced themselves and continued watching. "Thanks to our intrepid Princess of *blprt* Friendship and her team *ffrt* we've finally opened *ffrrrRT* trade to *FFRt* the Griffon Kingdom *FFALARRLP*." Celestia's solar wind was growing stronger with each release. She must know they're happening, the delegation thought, this must be all one elaborate trick. Not wanting to make a fuss and distract the princess, diplomats quietly fanned the air that was now dense with Celestia's cake fumes. "Also thanks to that same *fFFRtRTRT* team *FFRRTFRTLT* we've also entered an alliance *FFLfffLFLRT* with the Yak Empire *FFFFLFLFLRLTRTLT*. Amira and Haakim, as delegates of Saddle Arabia and those closest to the yaks, has this alliance born fruit of anything?*BBLBLBALALALFRT*" The room froze, that one sounded bad. Those seated at the table finally noticed Celestia betray what was going on beneath her if only a little as she straightened her back and shifted her plot on the throne. Celestia coughed lightly, attempting to mask a burp breaking the delegates out of their daze. Amira began to speak of increased trade and wonderful hoofball matches between the new nations with Haakim chiming in with some numerical data. All the while the princess of the sun released even deadlier solar winds from beneath her massive behind. They could all hear phase two had started and the Saddle Arabian diplomats tried their best to stay focused. Sounds of crackling and squishing could be lightly heard amidst a sea of muffled wind breaking from the throne. Celestia paid direct attention to the pair speaking as she continued her consumption, a barely audible grunt could be heard by those close by every now and then. When they had finished, Celestia turned the attention of the group to another pair, "That's fantastic *blaarp* Amira and *splorch* Haakim, please *ffrrrttt* keep me posted *fblarppp* in your correspondence *ffrrupt* of future events *bbllooorrt* between you *frt* and the yaks *fflart*. Now Manehattan *splslsh* delegates *fflflaflp*, the Griffons are *frtf* an incredibly shrewd *frtffrtpptpfpft* mercantile people, how has trade *fflfbblfflbarrp* been progressing with them?" Celestia's face remained calm and stoic seemingly unaware of the absolute battleground occurring underneath her. The Manehattan diplomats shakily began their report amidst the gas chamber being created in the grand hall. Every so often, Celestia would click one of her back hoofs against the ground either bringing a servant with more food, or a guard to remove said food after it had passed through the princess. This would happen endlessly throughout the night much like the actual sun itself, always a massive burning ball of gas and while the process was questionable, the sun was needed to guide the people. The meeting neared it's end as the stuffy Canterlot delegates talked at length about who knows what. Despite her attention and care given to the other speakers, Celestia clearly showed her boredom for this pair. Lifting up her hind hoofs, the princess released her celestial gases towards the general direction of the Canterlot speaks. While no one was a fan of the increased smell, the other delegates had to stifle laughter as the Canterlot diplomats, two which the entire table were not fans of, coughed at the wafting aroma. A small grin played on the lips of Celestia as she continued the assault, occasionally sitting back to drop some bombs below. The Canterlot pair finally admitted defeat, leaving in a huff as they muttered curses under their breath. "gotcha", smirked the princess and she turned to address the crowd, "I'm sorry for my little games I play at these meetings. Your ability to deal with unpleasant events under pressure is the reason you all are the finest diplomats Equestria has to offer. Guards! Please open the windows for our lovely delegates and a round of cake for all!" Celestia may have been full of gas, but her speeches were never full of hot air.