Dating the Dark Prince WIP

This work, Dating the Dark Prince, is in its earliest stages. My goal is a completed novel. So some of this outline will likely change later as the characters let me know what it is they really want to do. But at the moment, here is what I have in mind for them...Any thoughts, suggestions, criticism, comments and random musings are welcome and appreciated.

Overview
In this dark comedy, Satan, aka many other names, searches for his match. Because it must be someone either confined to Hell already or bound for Hell, his pool is limited to, well, bitches, with rare exception. Part historical fiction, Satan considers notable historical female figures who were not very nice in real life. He considers courting notable modern living women who have made the headlines for their bad deeds. He also considers fictional women. His two closest demons try to help Satan in his search, but they each have different motives. It's a fun romp through Hell and on Earth following Satan as he looks for love in all the right places. It's not meant to offend. Really.

Chapter 1
On a visit to Earth, Satan, in the form of a prairie dog, meets famous Madame, Squirrel Tooth Alice. She works hard to balance family (she had nine kids) and career (she owned a brothel). She is called Squirrel Tooth Alice because she has a gap in her teeth and a penchant for maintaining prairie dogs as pets. She stirs something in Satan, something he hasn't felt in a very long time. Since he saw Eve, in fact. Perhaps he just wants a new project (Satan tends to keep himself busy with his projects) or maybe he really has a hole in his life that could be filled with romance.

Chapter 2
Satan returns to Hell and finds it in disarray. His two right-hand men, Balam and Corson, are capable assistants, but the number of souls entering Hell daily has been rising for centuries while the number of demons has remained the same. Satan decides he needs more help, someone who could rule by his side and keep Hell under control while he visits Earth. Someone who will not punish the modern, moderately wicked the same way as they would the truly evil. Ideally, someone who could share his bed.

Chapter 3
Corson visits Earth to have lunch with Archangel Gabriel. They pick a living soul to battle over, each making suggestions trying to sway the person toward good or evil respectively. Corson mentions to Gabriel Satan's newfound desire for a woman to help rule. Gabriel thinks quite frankly that God should consider the same, but he's not going to suggest that to God.

Chapter 4
Malory, a defense attorney (both criminal and civil), defends a scummy client in court. She wins the motions in court. She gets summoned back into the judge's chambers. Although she is smart and persuasive, Malory only won because she is doing sexual favors for the corrupt judge. Balam interrupts the extra-marital activity in chambers and claims the judge's soul. The judge isn't dead; it's just a procedure which marks the soul for entry into Hell upon death, expediting the time he will spend in triage and ensuring proper classification. Balam finds Malory intriguing, a possible match for Satan, maybe.

Chapter 5
Satan takes Bonnie Parker on a date in Hell. This is actually Satan's first official date ever. Bonnie is flattered. She would love to be the queen of the damned. She's used to getting bad press. And she finds Lucifer very attractive. He kinda reminds her of Clyde.

Chapter 6
Balam, Lucifer and Corson meet in the "University" in Hell. The University was one of Satan's projects. It's a place for demons to meet and discus what they learn from their visits to Earth, to educate each other on new torture techniques and devices and to talk philosophy. Balam tells Satan about Malory. Satan tells the two about his date with Bonnie. Corson is not on board with the whole woman ruler thing. He suggests Lucifer reconsider. Corson offers to step up and help more. Lucifer tells him to get on board or face consequences. Satan gets notice of a marriage proposal.

Chapter 7
Balam visits Earth to check out the marriage proposal. Erica, a college student in San Francisco, has offered the devil her hand. She has been a devoted goth girl for three years. Balam is not all that impressed, so he decides to have Satan come to Earth to meet Erica rather than bring her to Hell, which is tricky.

Chapter 8
Corson meets Gabriel for some racquetball in Florida. At the gym, they have their usual soul battle. Gabriel says that God is impressed that Satan believes he might be able to find a romantic partner. God even said that if Satan could actually find true love, He would reconsider the permanent ban from Heaven. Corson doesn't believe God would do that. Gabriel thinks God meant it. Gabriel thinks that God really didn't want to throw Lucifer out to begin with, but he had no choice. And Gabriel thinks God misses him. They were tight.

Chapter 9
Balam summons Lucifer to Earth to meet Erica for a date. Erica is super excited. She shows Lucifer some of the seedier areas of San Francisco, but he's pretty familiar.

Chapter 10
Corson walks around Hell looking for a woman befitting his ruler. He considers Queen Mary (1516-1558) and Lizzie Borden (1860-1927), but settles on Ann Putnam, accuser in the Salem Witch Trials. If Gabriel is right, and finding love will get Satan back into Heaven, Corson could step up to rule Hell. Now Corson is on board.

Chapter 11
Erica tries to impress Satan with her tools of torture and her knowledge of spells. He is not all that impressed. He tells Erica to hold onto her proposal and to offer her hand again on her death bed if she still feels the same way. And she doesn't want to sell her soul in exchange for anything, like fame or fortune. He's not going to accept her soul right now while she still has life to live. He leaves Erica very unsatisfied. She is determined to find a way into Hell and into his heart.

Chapter 12
Corson presents Ann Putnam to Satan when he returns to Hell. Satan is more impressed with her than with Erica, but he is still not all that excited. There is no spark. Maybe he was wrong about this whole queen thing. Corson is not discouraged; he vows to keep looking until they find a woman. Satan is a little suspicious about the new enthusiasm, but believes his earlier threat of consequences was sufficient motivation.

Chapter 13
Balam keeps getting summons from Erica. She is trying to be more evil so she can get into Hell. Balam ignores the summons and goes back to get Malory. He finds her in court, defending someone who robbed a fast food restaurant.

Chapter 14
Corson and Satan walk around Hell looking for women. They consider Griselda Blanco (-2012), the Godmother of Cocaine. But Satan is not attracted. Corson brings up Tanya Harding and Lorena Bobbit. Satan is on the verge of giving up. Corson brings up Squirrel Tooth Alice. They go looking for her.

Chapter 15
Malory and Balam leave the courthouse together. Malory says she'll consider selling her soul to be with Satan, but says it in jest. Balam takes that as good enough. He pushes her in front of a bus.

Chapter 16
Satan and Corson find out that Squirrel Tooth Alice was actually admitted into Heaven because at the end of her life, she tried to get her kids to live good lives and she gave up the whole prostitution life. Balam walks up and introduces Malory, at this point a soul whose physical body is on Earth in a hospital in a coma.

Chapter 17
Malory freaks out because she doesn't want to be dead, or in Hell. Satan and Corson calm her down. Satan asks her to join him for a date. She reluctantly accepts.

Chapter 18
Bombarded by summons from Erica, Balam returns to Earth to try to get her to end her campaign for queen of Hell. He lets it slip to her that he believes Satan has found his soul mate, who is not dead but lying in a coma in Arizona. Erica promises to stop calling on Satan. Balam leaves. Erica decides to drive to Arizona to pay a visit to the woman in a coma.

Chapter 19


...still working on the remaining chapters and the ending...