White Lily Upon the Grave

the days are cold and lifeless.
nature has decayed into nothingness, bleak and dead.
i am submerged in darkness. it has wrapped itself so firmly
around me, freezing my heart and pinching what’s left
of me. i have started to rot, dwindling into death.
i walk through the cemetery and envy
those who have ran into Death’s arms and embraced Him
like an old friend. their gravestones crumble, names and dates
a distant memory,
swallowed up in fading stone and moss, their bodies decomposed
and crumbling, no more than bones.
when will Death come for me, i wonder. when he does,
when my body gives in to darkness, i will welcome him
as an old friend and i shall fall to my knees, crying tears of joy,
and i shall embrace him.
Death, oh Death, where art thou! why do you leave me
here upon the earth? i am dead, i am already dead.
don’t you see? i stand here waiting, but you desire
to torture me -
my days are lifeless and my body cold,
yet my heart betrays me.