Opened Wide

Opened Wide

After making a hasty retreat from the neighbor’s house Jake decided that was enough of the Mr. Nice Guy persona for one day. After the whole ripped fingernail incident earlier he had blood spatter all over his clothes not to mention the sweaty shirt clinging to his back. As soon as he closed his front door he started stripping down to his skivvies. He donned his raggedy robe and plopped down on the couch. Sapped of his stamina and the finger trauma catching up to him, he settled deeper into the couch and quickly fell off into a mid-day snooze.

The throbbing of his damaged finger woke Jake up an hour or so later. The initial tearing of the fingernail had been painful but this throb and ache he had now was distracting as hell. That’s when he remembered Darla had actually sucked on his finger to clean it before bandaging it. He dragged himself up off of the couch and headed towards the upstairs bathroom. Bitch, thought she was being sexy, probably gave me some sort of STD. Jake intended to use some serious cleaners and antibiotics on his diseased finger.

Up in the bathroom he removed the bandage and examined his damaged digit. It certainly was swollen and hot to the touch; A sure sign of infection. If I lose this finger that bitch is going to pay. Hell… I’m going to make her pay just for the aggravation.

The fingernail bed was extremely sensitive to the touch but that didn't stop Jake from taking a bristle brush and strong astringent soap to the open wound. By the time he was done scrubbing he had beads of sweat pouring from his brow. He hadn't screamed out even once but he was furious about the pain.

As he finished the first aid on his finger he took a deep breath and stretched out trying to loosen the tension in his back. That’s when he looked out his bathroom window and got another shock.

The neighbor’s upstairs bedroom balcony was directly across from his bathroom window. Jake could see clearly into the bedroom because someone had left the sliding glass door curtains opened wide. To Jake’s astonishment there Darla was framed in the doorway even further scantily clad than he had seen her earlier in the day. The most surprising part is she looked to be covered in blood and dancing in place. After a good long look, thinking out loud “Bloody hell” was all he could say.

Jake sat on the toilet to help get his bearings. I know she’s a man eater but damn, they just moved in. Jake was certain Darla had somehow killed her burly husband Dave. Curiosity getting the better of him forced him off his roost.

He quickly changed into a clean shirt and slacks before he headed over to the neighbor’s house. As he closed his door he spotted his hedge clippers leaning against his front stoop. She might be able to catch her husband off guard but I’m going to be ready for her. He scooped up the clippers as he passed them by.

A reefer Box truck was in the driveway and the garage bay door was open. As Jake approached the garage he could hear a running electric motor not unlike a carpenters saw. When he looked inside he was confronted by a wall of plastic sheeting through which he could see someone moving inside. The sheeting seemed to be splattered red from inside at random distances along the length of the garage opening. He probed the plastic and found a seam where two plastic sheets overlapped but allowed access to the interior.

Jake held one sheet aside with his clippers as he peered inside. He recognized the broad muscular back and shoulders of his new neighbor, Dave. Okay? If she didn't kill him, who did she kill? Just then Dave killed the power to the saw and as it started to wind down he turned and caught sight of Jake peeking through the plastic opening.

Dave was dressed in what Jake might describe as surgical scrubs from head to foot except for the long and broad apron which covered his entire front. It might also be mentioned that he was covered in blood from the protective face shield all the way down the apron.

“Hey Jake, come on in. Looking for some more free surgery? Tell you what. If you help me load that truck out there and I’ll give you an appendectomy gratis. I have a big order I have to fill tonight or lose the contract.” Says Dave as he stands there juggling a knife with one hand.

Jake enters. Dave continues, “You just missed the missus. She was down here half-dressed rolling around in all this gore. She says it keeps her young. She’s one crazy-assed woman. I tell you Jake, be careful around her because she’ll eat you alive.”

Jake is mute, “I can’t believe he just said that out loud.”

Dave turns back to his butcher table getting back to work. As Jake walks up to the table with his crusty hedge clippers he can’t help but envy the formidable array of gleaming weapons of destruction stuck into the table point down in front of the butcher.

Dave pushes aside a fresh cut pile meat and reaches into a plastic bin beside the table and pulls out a carcass and slaps it down on the table. When Jake sees the figure he can’t help himself, “What the hell Dave, is that a kid?”

“Nah, skinned monkey, told you I was in the specialty business.” Says Dave as he grabs a knife and drags it around the circumference of the monkey skull. He then whacks the skull with the haft of the knife, grabs the skull cap with the other hand and hinges it wide open. Dave pronounces, “That’s the money shot, Monkey brains.”