A stroll through the tulips

Its just turned 6:34, so i guess 4:20 is over...

I have honestly no idea what this text is going to say by the end. I am hoping to rant and ramble on while medicated and come to an ironic point about the human condition... i probably won't!

You know the funny thing about child pornography ...no credits at the end. I mean say what you like about the depravity of the acts taking place, there's no over bloated 'Hollywood' egos in that industry.

Today i was searching through my attic and i found a copy of a sex offenders register from 1973, it turned out to be an old Radio Times.

Charlie Sheen - "I probably took more than anybody could survive".

Hunter S. Thompson - "Aww, you're adorable".

"THIS IS FUCKING WAR", was the quote from prime minister David Cameron today on the discovery of a 64ft space mutant found camped in his crawl space. Sources have told me that Mr. Cameron was only pushed to use such language after the space mutant had refused on several occasions to explain his actions. The same source has revealed to me that the disturbance caused by the creature, has in no way affected Mr. Cameron's training schedule and Dave will be ready for his next cage fight, due to take place on November 3rd.

'Smudger' Black, ex- limbo dancer and whale harpooner, has been acting as Dave's trainer for the upcoming fight between his 'boy' (first time for everything!) and Timothy Flapslap aka 'the cross-dressing colossus'. Black is quoted as saying "massa David, 'im unbeatable". Black, also told me that he won't be attending the fight personally as he has a court appearance that day charged with telling a Jew a joke on a Wednesday.

I myself managed to get a few words today with the PM over some of Puerto Rico's finest sex workers and ice cream.

Me - "Thank you for taking the time to speak to me Dave".

D C - "Not a fuckin' problem".

Me - "Erm, o.k, have you made any progress with the space creature yet?".

D C - "A little, i know the little cunts name now, apparently it goes by the name of Gamtin".

Me - "Gamtin, that is interesting".

D C - "Fuckin' stupid name if you ask me".

Me - "Well not really, perhaps the name David may sound silly to him".

D C - "Bollocks".

Me - "Has Gamtin made any effort to vacate your personal space yet?".

D C - "Has he fuck, little bastard just sits there pulling faces at my dogs and eating beef burgers".

Me - "Beef burgers?"

D C - "Yeah, i fuckin' love beef burgers".

Me - "Oh?".

D C - "Yeah, and he fuckin' eats 'em all"...

(At this point of the interview Dave sniffs a long line of Turkish heroin off the thigh of a West Highland terrier, laying spreadeagled near by) ...

Me - "Yes, erm... so what do you think your chances against Flapslap are?".

D C - "I've had harder shits after a curry than Flapslap".

Me - "You sound confident".

D C - "Yeah, it'll be a piece of piss".

Me - "Mr. Cameron, thank you for your time".

D C - "Fucking pleasure".