Preacher caught in sex scandal.

Sermon held for a beloved preacher caught in sex scandal -

We are here today to offer our prayers and to give our support to the honorable reverend Cockjoy. For those of you that don't already know the honorable reverend was discovered, while in the grip of demonic possession, at the kebabylon kebab shop, bookies, shooting gallery and child brothel... a..a.apparently...while i myself have never frequented the establishment or any such establishment either here or on Vatican city visits. I am to understand that the proprietor one Mr. Raqhman has given a statement to police detailing how for the last several months he had demanded a large, some would say extortionate sum of money from the honorable reverend Cockjoy. In exchange Mr. Raqhman would provide reverend Cockjoy with a six year old Albino boy and a pre-starved thirteen year old Russian girl both in full Ewok costumes. For his money the reverend would also receive three grams of quite frankly average grade cocaine, a bottle of 'Amsterdam Gold' amyl-nitrate and a chicken, bacon and cheese toasted on hearty Italian subway. Mr. Raqhman backed up his statement by showing the police secretly filmed video tapped evidence of the honorable Cockjoy in his possessed state, in full Leia costume placing two grand on Deep Sensation in the three forty at Cheltenham...at this point in proceedings i would like to remind Mr. Raqhman and his associates who i know are in attendance here today that our gang is way bigger than theirs and has a far more prestigious reputation of torture, murder, tyranny and hatred. With this pointed out if any other 'secretly filmed' pieces of evidence were to make it into police hands of other patrons of his establishment, then this might result in a sudden decline of custom... and as it was after all Mr. Raqhman that paid for this very churches roof we wouldn't want Mr. Raqhman to be down in profits... hehe, Mr. Raqhman jokes that the roof is "a loyalty reward", don't know what he means by that... *cough* erm i'm sure that you will join me in wishing the honorable reverend Cockjoy all your prayers and blessings and wishing him lots of luck in his new parish... now can we all stand for hymn number sixty nine, 'sometimes i'm naughty'...