My 7th Birthday Present Really Stank!

My 7th Birthday Present Really Stank!

Newly seven year old eyes Pop! open,
legs and arms unwrap
from twisted blankets and tangled sheets
to land jumbled on the floor.
Speed walk (no running in the house)
to the porch room where I knew
at least one present would be awaiting me.
Nothing.

But, looking through the window,
I saw it. A Castle!
Nightgown flapping, bare feet sliding across dew-wet grass,
I ran out to see my very own round castle turret.
Concrete, with wide, round windows (or perhaps doors)
to climb through, and use as steps to climb high
to the battlements. Oh, I was the queen of my kingdom
in that moment.

Breakfast and chores forgotten:
I was busy slaying dragons,
saving princesses from evil trolls
and playing all the roles at once
in my new magic castle.
No one called me in to eat or get dressed.
I pretended my way
through every fairy tale I could imagine.

When I heard a distant roar and rumble,
it became a hoard of giants just beyond
the horizon. When the huge mechanical beast
lumbered down the road, I plotted with the wizard
to create a spell of vanishing. It was coming very close
to my castle, its steel, sharp toothed jaw menacing.
It ignored me, proceeding to dig a vast hole in the earth.

My father, the king, came out, sat on the castle wall
to tell me a story. The beast was digging the hole to
bury my birthday castle. I did not understand.
It wasn't a castle, he explained, it wasn't even my present.
In fact, they'd let me play because
it was all the present this day would bring.

If not a castle, I asked, what was it then.
I didn't understand. Why did the mean old monster need
to bury my magical haven? It's magic only worked underground,
the king explained.
Could I still play in it?

Thinking back, my father must have been sorely pressed
not to laugh, even though his was a most difficult task.
How do you explain to a child that this was an unintended prank
and my castle was naught but the new septic tank?



Theme: Worst Birthday Present or Worst Birthday Ever!

Was it too big, too small, hideous or so NOT you? Was it well meant, but a disaster? Was it something you just did not want or one of those practical gifts some folks like to give?

Words TO use: turret, porch, imagine, tooth
Words NOT TO use! ribbons, cake, candles,
At least 16 lines