There was this girl...

There was this girl that sat behind me in my eighth grade history class. She would always kick the back of my desk and poke fun at me. I didn’t like her at all. She was an annoying little thing. It got to the point that I hated going to my history class.

We walked home the same way from school. I never saw her much before. Now she was always there, walking behind me, making little jokes. I tried to take different routes home. She always found me. I didn’t know what her problem was. I just wished she would find someone else to pester.

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but one day she started being kind and normal. We actually had conversations. At some point we held hands. Then I started carrying her books. Then we kissed. I found myself looking forward to going to my history class and meeting her after school.

We spent a lot of time together. I would hang out with her in her neighborhood or we would meet at the park. We became best friends. I couldn’t imagine life without her, but all good things come to an end.

The school year was over and we were off for the summer. She had to leave with her family for a couple of months. I don’t remember the reasons, but when she returned we stopped seeing each other. I hung out with friends that summer. We went swimming, rode our motorcycles and went to parties. I had a good time, but the one thing I remember the most about that summer was how badly I missed her.

We went to high school together. I had a few classes with her. We didn’t speak anymore, although there was an occasional glance. I started going out with other girls. She was going out with other guys. I still liked her, but she didn’t seem to want anything to do with me.

Three years later in my Junior year of high school, everything seemed to be changing in our neighborhood. People were leaving and new people were moving in. I always hoped we would get some "cool" neighbors. A girl close to my age would be best. You’ve heard that old saying, “Be careful what you wish for”? This saying applied to me.

First I saw her parents, then I saw her brother and sister and finally I saw her. This is not possible. She can’t be moving in across the street from me, but it was true. This was really happening. I didn’t know how to feel about it. Part of me was happy. The other part was feeling a little sick.

Eventually I went over and talked to her. I didn’t want things to be awkward between us. To my surprise, a few weeks later we were dating. It felt good to be back together. We became best friends again with the added benefit of being lovers. There was hardly a time when we were apart. Everything was back to the way it was and better.

After two years together things began to change. Our outlook on the future was different, we drifted apart. I’d like to say that no one was to blame, but I know deep down it was all my fault.

It wasn’t long before she found someone else. Then she was married. I left that little town shortly after. I had places to go and things to accomplish. At least that’s what I told myself.

I saw her only once while I was visiting in the area some years later. Occasionally my mother would run across her in the store. She would call me and mention that she saw her and that she said “Hi”. I would pass the same message back to say “Hi” the next time she bumped into her. After my mother passed away any and all contact with this girl was lost.

I’ve married a few times over the years. They were nice women, but I think I held my expectations too high. I know that I unconsciously compared everyone to her. My wives never had a chance. She was a ghost from long ago. A spirit that’s haunted me and my relationships from time to time throughout my life. There never would be anyone that could compare to this girl from my distant past.

It’s been over 30 yrs since I’ve spoken with her. I came across her picture on facebook not long ago. She’s older, as I am, but I still see that girl in her eyes. I always think that one day I will meet up with her for coffee and talk. I never do. I think I’m afraid that this girl from all those years ago might just be a normal person and not the beautiful “Angel” that I remember. Maybe I’ll keep my memories just as they are. It’s best to leave things be. After all there’s no need to ruin a good dream.