The Lie

THE LIE

This morning the sun rose,
shrouded with clouds and rain
much like the darkness ever hovering
deep within my mortal heart.

Cold stays the black fingers, avarice ice
‘round my neck, stealing my humanity.
I find myself crying in silence
while the dark and the light burn me alike.

What is the difference ‘tween
the dismal dark and the brightening light?
Please say; where does the pain stop,
the joyfulness begin?

For too many years without count
I’ve felt despondency surround me
leaving me to say the pain will never stop;
grieving that the joy will never come.

Certainly the beatitude does
not reside within my chest.
No love of a gentle man
exists within my bosom.

And my time for finding new joy
has long since passed in years.
Time has filtered my eyes and blunted
my ears and left me without my beauty.

So therefore why be there any
incentive to greet another sun,
if all that greet that sun is pain
and a longing beyond compare?

Yet though I feel bereft of love myself
there are a few who claim to love me still.
A son, two daughters and others of blood.
It is for them I struggle through this agony.

I smile my specious smile for them
and though it hurts with a mighty fierceness
I struggle successfully each torturous day
to present to you a happy face.

And you believe the lie.