Fri(end)

Throughout all my years of going to school, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything quite like this. It’s sophomore year, nothing special. I’d been in high school for a whole year so it wasn’t like it was new to me.  Little did I know this whole year was going to be full of new experiences, some good, some not so good.

For a short period of time, it was a fantastic year. I made a lot of new friends and even got closer with a few friends from last year. It was exciting to meet and get to know people a lot better. The year was off to a great start! I was excited for the new school year. I was finally getting closer to dating the boy I liked for almost two years. Most of my friends were against my choice in dating him. Don’t get me wrong, they had absolutely every right to be. This guy had me on a never-ending roller coaster ride. We were on and off, off and on, it was a huge mess! There was even one point in time when he led me on and then started dating some girl for five months. It was more of a struggle than it was pleasurable. I had it set in my mind that it was all worth it. I felt as though I was in love with this boy. Maybe I was, but who could really tell at this age? All I know was I was head over heels for this kid. He had a toll on me and I constantly found myself going to the extreme for him. I was constantly doing things I never thought I’d do. I did things like going against my parents’ wishes and just completely rebelling against them. My dad even began to question if I even had a brain. The guy had power over me. I would do anything and everything for him. Whatever he wanted, it was my first priority to make sure he got it. Some called it love, others called it complete stupidity.

I can’t really say when things started to change between us. It’s crazy how it happened. One minute I was head over heels, chasing after him and then next, he’s head over heels chasing after me. It’s almost as if we switched places. It happened so fast that I don’t even remember what caused it. We just started to drift apart. We went from talking every day to only talking occasionally. Our conversations started to get shorter and soon there became nothing to talk about. After a while, I began talking and getting closer to a guy friend of mine. Soon, he became the guy I talked to all hours of the day. Our friendship went from texting all the time, to Face Timing all night long. Day by day, I began to lose interest in the guy I thought I was in love with. This new guy got my attention in a way that no one else ever had. As things started to progress with me and this new guy, I decided I should find a way to let the other guy down easy. After talking it over with a few of my friends and the guy I started to like, I finally decided to break it to the other guy. I told him about me and this new guy starting to like each other. He didn’t take it well at all. He started to get angry with me. Instead of reacting how I usually would, I started to feel like I didn’t really care if he was mad at me. Usually when he would tell me bye, I would beg him not to go. This time when he said bye, I let him go and I didn’t even feel upset like I normally would. That’s when I realized my feelings for him had changed.

After the confession fiasco, it was soon time for homecoming. I had already agreed to meeting up with my new crush so I was excited. I had it set in my mind that this would be a fresh start with this new guy. It all seemed like a great idea, but it was the complete opposite.

Homecoming was a wreck! When I arrived at the parking lot of my school, I saw my old crush’s sister. When she noticed me she called my name so I went over to her. Next thing I knew, my old crush was standing there. “Surprise!” he said. I couldn’t say anything. I just stood there for a moment freaking out inside. Then his mom and sister started to bombard me asking for pictures of us together. I didn’t really want to take pictures, but I had to. So I took pictures with them, but I was still in shock. Why would he surprise me like this? It was going to be a disaster! I was planning on spending my night with someone else and now he’s here! After a while, I figured I at least owed him since I was going to be breaking his heart afterwards. I guess I could just give him one last good memory of me and him together. I immediately texted my crush and told him about the surprise fiasco. We agreed to just meet up towards the end and spend the rest of the dance together. I was mad, but I agreed anyway. As the dance went on, I tried to enjoy myself with him. Every now and again, my mind would drift and I would start thinking about the other guy. He had asked me to save him one dance, but I didn’t see him anywhere. Finally when I did see him, we acted completely normal. We hugged, joked around a bit, and danced near each other for a little. He kept his distance out of respect for my surprise date. Whenever he would come around, my surprise date would hold me and try to dance with me. It was a real love triangle! After dancing around with a group of my friends, my surprise date, my one friend, and I decided to get a drink. On our way to the fountain, I saw the guy I liked and one of my best friends grinding on each other. Now, I’m an emotional wreck. I don’t take things lightly at all. When I saw them together, I wanted to cry. My first instinct was to punch my so-called friend, but I had to calm down. Instead of violence, I decided to just glare at both of them and walk away. My heart was racing and I couldn’t control the thoughts bouncing around in my head. My surprise date was completely oblivious to what was going on. I was pacing back and forth at the water fountain trying to calm myself down. As my friends came over to me, I explained to them what happened, making sure my date didn’t hear. Suddenly, my friend and the guy appeared and started making their way towards me. Without thinking, I ran back into the gymnasium until I found an empty corner. I threw myself on the floor and waited for the tears to come. When I saw my friend making her way toward me, I tried to pull myself together. She started to tell me how my other friend and the guy I liked dancing meant nothing. She told me how he was looking for me all night and how he’s been telling everyone how he wanted to dance with me. Then my other friend who’s really close friends with him came over to me. She, too, started to tell me the same thing. She added that he was telling her how he wanted to talk to me about dating. She kept telling me that I needed to go talk to him. So I pulled myself together, and walked with my friends to go find him. When I found him, he made a pouty face at me and pulled me into a huge hug. We stood in the corner hugging each other as he whispered in my ear. He told me how he wanted to take me away from my date all night and how he wanted to talk to me about dating. After a while I told him I wasn’t mad at him. I don’t know where my date went, but I ended up spending the rest of the night with my new crush. We held hands and we even got to have our dance. We danced in the middle of all the tables in the lobby. It was magical.

That night, everything was perfect. I really believed I found my knight in shining armor. Everyone raved about how perfect we were for each other. It felt like a fairy-tale. Soon, reality started to settle in. My crush started to become unsure if he wanted to be with me or not. It was a disaster! After a while, he and my friend he danced with at homecoming started to get closer and we started to drift apart. A few days after them getting closer, they started dating. I was devastated. I was reliving what had happened with me and my previous crush.

I never saw it coming. Who could’ve guessed that one of your best friends and your crush would start dating? Especially when both of them are aware of your feelings.  The only possible solution I can think of is that this is high school. Each year of high school is like taking one step closer into what the real world is going to be like. This experience has taught me that life is full of let downs and disappointments, you just have to choose what affects you and how you let it. One lesson I’ve learned through this experience is to choose your friends wisely. You never really know who’s trustworthy. For me, the people I’ve let in the most are the ones who were quick to stab me in the back. I’ll never forget this experience. I think that the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. It comes from friends and loved ones. I guess I’m going to have to forget what hurt me, but never will I forget what it taught me.