Pop Tarts

For the first time in my life, I put a pop tart in the toaster and ate it. It was delicious, in that it was way better than a “raw” pop tart. This in itself isn’t an epic realization. Most people will tell you that a toasted tart is magnitudes better than a regular one, but for me the earth moving ‘eureka’ moment was that I had never fully realized the “pop” of the tart until I was 25 years old. I have eaten thousands of the pastries in the regular manner, and seen thousands of commercial depicting people putting them in toasters, but for some reason, I had never done it myself. This revelation led me down many winding roads, up to and including; what have I done with my life? What else have I overlooked while on the path of barbarism and savagery? Is there anything else I can put in this toaster, maybe a fork? The most important question being; why would I choose strife over convenience? To be fair, I haven’t cooked anything for myself since before the IPhone was a thing, and I haven’t done a load of laundry properly since my divorce, but if there are two roads to drive down, I will almost always choose the road that leads me through the most pot holes. It goes beyond the tarts, when I was a kid my mom would make me a bologna and cheese sandwich every day for lunch, but I never told her that I hated cheese. For eight years she put cheese on my sandwich, and I would take it off and throw it away. That’s absolute madness, but it never dawned in my mind that I could change the situation; bologna sandwiches come with cheese. I have approached every relationship in my life with that same ethos; Pop tarts are what they are, and sandwiches hold no secrets beyond their bread. People can’t change, they are what they are. Not exactly a Mayan prophecy, but for me it has had a huge impact. Putting that pop tart in the toaster led me to the realization that I can change my environment. I can choose how things turn out. A soul shattering insight that led me to call into question the facilities of honor, love, and friendship. What are we beyond a timeline, and a sequence of debts? Seven billion strangers trying to get it right. A zeitgeist that will remember us ultimately as individuals seeking a truth just beyond our grasp in the either. But the Black Keys are awesome, and cats still roam the Earth, so what do we really have to complain about?