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find time to be ur spouse’s friend & do those li'l things for each other to build intimacy |
A Piece Of Advice Girish was sitting on the terrace and sipping his coffee. He was looking out at the group of children who were busy with their own games. They were giggling, arguing, playing and having fun. At the far end the gardener was attending to the unruly grass. Next to the pond a pair of pigeons had swooped down and were quenching their thirst. It all looked so serene. However, Girish’s mind was in complete turmoil. He had so many thoughts racing one after the other, that howsoever hard he tried to control them, they kept bothering him. It seemed like yesterday, he had married Shailja and in course of time they had two lovely daughters. He never realised how time flew, he kept himself so busy with his work that now he regretted as to why he never indulged in the small pleasures of seeing how his tiny bundles of joy grew up and moved on in their lives. Shailja, often used to complain about it and say “Girish, do not miss out on the little things in life. These are the most precious ones. You will regret one day, but by then it will be too late.” He regarded Shailja as a fool as he thought he had the responsibility of providing for his family and growing fast in his career. Indeed, he grew in his career but at the cost of his family. He never had the time to get into the nitty gritty of his children’s life. He left it to Shailja, which she did to the best of her abilities. Girish was completely impervious to his wife’s needs, feelings and sentiments. He thought that by bringing in the money in the house, his responsibility ended. Unfortunately the strains of this started impacting the relationships. It felt more like duties minus any emotional bondings or attachments. Girish remembered that today was exactly one month since Shailja had passed away. He was probably devastated when she died. He had started keeping to himself. It was now he realised what a lonely life Shailja would have led in all the 25 years of their married life. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously he reached out and touched her head. He had earned fame, reputation and everything he wanted but if he considered his personal front. It was a complete disaster. There was no way he could undo any of that…. As he never had time for his daughters, they too never bonded with him. He felt so unsure of himself. He did not know how to handle life. He felt desolate and responsible for all the silent tears his wife would have shed in all the years while she was alive. As he watched the children playing, he wished he could have been part of his own kids life. But now it was too late. There was absolutely nothing he could do to turn the hands of the clock….. Girish thought that he wanted to leave a message for all those in the world and are reading his story… The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! |