Crushed Fantasy

Kay knocked nervously on Sam's office door. Usually during these late hours, when the janitors were vacuuming, Sam would have the door closed. Her music would be playing loudly from her desk speakers but it was ok since none of the other co-workers were there to be distracted. They had long gone home to their families. The handle turned and the door opened slightly. By the time Kay poked her head in, Sam was already back at her computer, in the middle of composing an email. "Hey," was all Kay could muster.

"Hi Kay," was the only reply. Sam was concentrating on her words and clearly didn't want her focus to be broken. Kay removed a pile of papers from the guest chair and quietly sat down. The rest of the office reflected what was on the chair, except it was worse: stacks and stacks of documents filled up the floor space. Boxes and manila folders covered the surface of her desk. One incomplete picture frame was leaning against her desk, precariously in the way of anyone who wanted to step inside. Just that day, Kay had overheard a co-worker complaining about Sam's untidiness and how Sam's supervisor should have been on her to have her office organized. Kay felt saddened by such comments about her friend but she didn't say anything to defend Sam. She had to admit, it was slightly inexcusable.

Kay's eyes wandered from the documents to Sam and she couldn't help but scan the other woman from head to toe and back up again. Sam was a drink for her eyes and Kay was thirsty. She wondered if Kay could see from her peripheral vision that she was scanning her with lust spilling over from her heart. Afraid, Kay turned her head to the monitor screen, staring at the letters which were too far away to be legible. Sam finally pressed the send button and turned in her chair, her back towards Kay. Kay resumed studying the shape of Sam, knowing this time she wouldn't be caught. "I'll be right back. I need to make a copy.”

Kay nodded, mainly to herself. She thought of vocalizing her acknowledgement but Sam was already out the door. She looked out from the office, looking at the empty offices across the hall. An involuntary sigh escaped her breath, accompanied by the slumped shoulders of despair. Sam had never shown she had any special feelings for Kay. In fact, it was the opposite. Sam’s work and other co-workers seemed to come first. Kay’s mind drifted to the lyrics of a song she had on repeat on her MP3 player, “I only want what I can’t have…”

Kay closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, trying to avoid the piles of paper at her feet as she let them stretch outwards. She imagined Sam coming back into the office and closing the door behind her as she entered. In her fantasy, Sam took a seat, her look intense and directed at Kay. Kay looked at the closed door, anticipating the next words, “Kay, I…I have feelings for you.”

“What? What do you mean?” Before Sam can reply, Kay is leaning over her, her lips brushing Sam’s ear. “I don’t think I heard you.”
“I…I have a crush on you,” is Sam’s stuttered reply. Kay pulls back until her lips are on Sam’s lips, kissing her gently. Kay brings her hands to Sam’s sides and moves them up to the other’s chest, invoking a quick and deep inhalation.

“And I you,” are Kay’s words in between sharp breaths.

Kay’s fantasy is broken when Sam walks in with more papers in her hands. Though her mind has returned to reality, her sex is still quivering. She takes a deep breath and tries to stop her heart from racing out of her chest. Sam looks at her curiously, “Are you all right?”

Kay’s face felt hot. It certainly must have been a shade closer to red. She coughed, “Yeah. Uh, I just remembered something and I have to get going.” She got up from the chair, her legs feeling wobbly despite her struggle to appear calm. “I’ll catch up with you another time.”

Sam smiled, apparently not noticing any more than she had. “Sure, no problem. Catch you later. Have a good night.”

“Yup, you too.” Kay shook her head as she walked down the hallway to the exit. Sam would never feel for her what she felt for Sam. It was better to escape the delusion now than to be heartbroken later. A relief crept into her heart once she made that determination. But accepting reality wouldn't stop her from having some fun with her imagination tonight.