Renewed Christmas Sparkle

Just sitting here playing my CHRISTMAS MUSIC, and remembering things past, looking at the "present" and anticipating the future, and knowing that God has been and continues to be GOOD to me!  December has turned out to be a very special month in my life as well as the number 13 (4).

I married the love of my life on December 4.  We got our apartment in Maryland on December 13.  We purchased our first home on December 13, and our last child was born December 13, and that same December, the love of my life walked out of my life forever. 

Years later, my Mother had a stroke in December and was later buried December 6.
December USED to be my very special month.  I looked forward to it with joy and happiness every day, and then Mother, my best friend, confidant, spiritual leader, and counselor left me, and December became the darkest month of the year.  Not just because of the very short days and darkness at 4:30, but because somewhere inside of me, the light had gone out.  The flame was extinguished even though I had four wonderful reasons to keep on living.

Last year, a spark inside was rekindled.  December became a month in the year again -- not filled with joy, but it was okay.  Just a tiny spark.

This year, December 11, I am jamming with some of my old music (I used to play it all year round when the spirit moved me) that has been buried for almost 19 years, and it sound wonderful.  I don't even have any of the new Christmas music.  I used to hunt the music stores just to see what new Christmas music would come out.

Sitting here, right this moment, I wonder what else I missed while I grieved so deeply for my Mother who would probably be so disappointed with me for allowing myself to go into such a deep dark place over her death. 

My small Christmas tree is sitting on my dining room table and the floors are waxed and shining.  Christmas table is set and looking good.  Got to get the lights up so I can see them twinkle while I give thanks for once again seeing the beauty of the season, not just the reason for the season.  A major sparkle, and I am grinning from ear-to-ear.

No matter what we have done to Christmas, it is still a time to show love, hope, happiness, and joy.  It is a great time to show random acts of kindness to neighbors, friends, strangers and ESPECIALLY family.  Thank you Lord for keeping me wrapped in your love and safety during my entire life, especially from 1993 to present -- it is truly a "present!" 

Merry Christmas to all of you.  May you be blessed, and may this season still hold joy, happiness, love, hope, and PEACE!  I have a renewed Christmas sparkle from head to toe!