The Whore Nun

The sky was a hazel brown with a hint of blue and pink when I was taking my morning stroll through the park. As I was walking through the park I stopped to relieve myself at the facilities near by. While I was washing my hands I looked into the mirror and saw my mortal enemy emerge from the darkness! Every yang has a yen in this world, for every good there’s evil and my evil was Sister Amy from the Catholic Church across the street from my beloved park. This woman was the exact opposite of what a nun should be. You know the old saying “I’m sweating like a pregnant nun in the middle of a sermon.” Well she really was pregnant. When she wasn’t professing her love to god she was on the corner of 7th and Bowling road working for sweet daddy D, her pimp. For some reason she was the best whore he had and the most constant customer was the priest at the cathedral. When I turned around to question the smell of fish and insult, so called, Sister Amy a brick landed on the side of my forehead. Some people say they see stairs when they get knocked out. Not this time, I saw a fucking supernova explode right in front of my eyes but when I hit the cold hard floor it must have jump-started my brain because I opened my eyes and began to refocus as the brick was plummeting towards my head for a second time. I rolled to my back jumped up and gave her a very impressive heal kick right to the center of her sternum. Sister Amy flies out the door of the restroom and lands on the concrete right outside the bathroom. I quickly jumped on top of her and declared victory over my opponent. Just as I did this a pair of officers taking a stroll saw this and tackled me to the ground. They began reading me my rights “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can…” “No officer you have it all wrong.” I exclaimed, “She attacked me!” I said desperately. The second officer bent over to help up the pathetic excuse of a nun to her feet. “He took me in the bathroom and took my purity that I pledged to god. Then when I tried to escape he hit me with a brick and kicked me in the chest and was going to rape me again!” she said in a shaken and horrified voice. I though to my self Shit I didn’t see that coming…