Untitled

I have the man of my dreams
The one guy who since the first day I met has invaded my thoughts
I thought getting over the past pain was worth it.
I thought it will all be different.
I was so un happy without him
So miserable in life
He came back and my spirits where lifted
I was happy we were finally going to make it work
Just him and I
Two people destined for eachother.
Turns out,
I only changed one mask for another.
Instead of constant gloom that used to hover
Now I'm either extremely happy
Or completely worthless
A joke, love, a thing of fantasy
There is a reason why love always sells books, or movies
Because its not real.
An emotion that will leave one cold and bitter.
How is it that I wasn't good enough
Yet now I am
How can your sweet words
The words I dreamed of hearing
Be daggers to my constant bleeding heart.
When will the pain end
Perhaps I was made to live with the tugging pain of betrayal
The distaste of lies surrounding me
The constant struggle with my own mind
When will it all come down
When will I shatter
No, I've already been shattered a broken person
Broken dreams, broken hopes, and ever real fears
When will I become, dust blown away in the wind. forgotten
A painful memory, a distant cry, to feel nothing
Right now to feel nothing is better than this unending roller coaster

Why was I not good enough to wait for
Why am I not good enough to be proven that true love is real
And how is it, that everything supposedly changed the day I said I do.
How is it that I had to give everything
And received what feels like nothing
There isn't anything to love about an empty shell
With nothing to fill back in.