"It's me, again"

The dreams came to her that night just as they did any other night. She was there in her bed and so was he, touching her cheek and kissing her; on her lips, her cheeks and forehead. His fingers would trace over her collarbone and slide around her neck to the back of her head and find the spot where her hairline began. Sometimes her dreams were vivid, clear and so... real. Most of the time, however, she only remembered them in brief moments after she woke.

This time, she could only remember soft kisses and light touching. It was before dawn that she stirred. Her eyes barely open, she instinctively reached her arm across the bed. Her thin fingers grasped at the cold sheets. Empty space as always. Her eyelids fluttered open and she shivered. December was nearing.

"Daniel..." She murmured. She didn't feel any pain, only numbness. She curled up under her blankets, trying to keep warm, but only for a moment because she couldn't take it anymore. She sat up and picked her cell phone up from the nightstand next to her bed. This was her new addiction, the only thing that sparked some life into her. Ironically.

She dialed a number she knew by heart and placed the phone next to her ear. It began to rang and she counted. "One...two...three." she inhaled and held her breath, closing her eyes. After the third ring, he picked up.

"Hello?"

"It's me, again." She said this every single time after hesitating for a second as if to make sure it was really his voice on the line.

"Amy." She could almost hear him smile. Her heart gave a quick skip and she bit her lip. Here was the spark, a mix of sadness and happiness at the same time. She felt the warmth start in her toes and work it's way up to her fingertips, then to her ears. This was the happy glow. But her chest ached and she had a faint, sick feeling in her stomach. The sadness...

"I had dreams about you again. They woke me up too early. The sun hasn't even come up."

"Oh yeah?" his voice was slightly raspy, as always.

"Yeah..." She pulled her knees up to her chest, still hiding in blankets. "I remember you kissing me and stuff."

He chuckled softly. She bit her lip, the ache stabbing at her. She clutched the phone tighter. "I really miss you..."

"I miss you, too. I really do."

"Then why aren't you here with me?" Her voice shook. She didn't want to cry again. The conversations she had with him when she didn't cry were the ones she cherished most.

He sighed and spoke softly. "I'm sorry... You know I am, too. If things had been different, I would have never left you alone. Ever."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "But things aren't different. And I'm alone now."

"Baby, no, I'm right here with you now. See? Can't you hear me?"

Her voice cracked slightly. "Yeah." She fought the tears back.

"You're not alone. Ever. Amy, I'm right here. Shhh... Baby, please don't cry, okay? I hate it when you cry. Smile for me. C'mon, now."

The tears finally escaped and rolled down her cheeks, but she forced a smile. "Okay. Ugh, it just..." she sighed and wiped at her face with her free hand. "I can't help it, sorry. The dreams were really nice tonight and... it just got me worked up."

"I know, but hey, talk to me until the sun comes up."

"How long can you talk this time?"

"I have a while."

Amy glanced over at the window across her room. No light was peeking through the blinds. Her room was just a dull grey color, not too dark, but not light either. Her grandparents' mansion was spooky and her room at night creeped her out, especially when it was dark. It was too big of a room first of all. and when she was a little girl she could barely sleep even then. She always looked for monsters in the corners. She smiled bitterly to herself. It wasn't monsters she needed to worry about anymore...

"Daniel, I think... when you died, I died, too. I can't feel anything anymore. Not unless I talk to you."

Daniel was quiet. She hated it when he got quiet because it was wasting their time for talking. "Stop that." she said bitterly and clutched at the blanket with her free hand.

"I'm sorry, but when you say stuff like that, I don't know how to respond. I want to tell you everything will be fine, that you can't think like that and that you have to move on, but..."

Silence again. Irritating.

"But what?" she asked.

"I haven't even moved on, so I mean... It would make me a hypocrite if I told you to move on, you know? I don't know. I just," he sighed in frustrating, "I want to be there with you. I hate this, but it's not good to think like that."

She felt the tears pour down her cheeks again and she tried to keep her breathing steady. "Can... can you see me right now? Where are you right now?"

Silence.

"Daniel!"

"Yeah, I can see you... Stop crying, please. I can't take it." she heard his voice shake. She looked around her room.

"Where are you?" she asked.

This time he chuckled softly. "The ceiling."

She looked up and slowing moved her eyes across the wide and high ceiling. "Tell me when..." she whispered and finally when she focused her eyes on the right spot, he said "Stop."

She smiled at the empty space on the ceiling and dried her cheeks. "What are you doing on the ceiling, dumbass?" she laughed bitterly.

"Hey, being able to float is fun..." She heard him smile again and she smiled even more. "That nightgown on you is kinda sexy, by the way." She could almost picture him winking. She looked down to see her exposed cleavage and bundled her knees up against her chest more.

"Don't be such a pervert."

"Have they grown?" his tone playful.

"Daniel, please." she rolled her eyes and he laughed a bit.

"Okay, okay, sorry. But hey... The sun's nearly up."

"Do you have to go now?" She kept her eyes on the ceiling still.

"Yeah... Sorry. Hey, I'm coming down to kiss you."

Amy held still and waited a moment. Suddenly, a familiar sudden chill rushed over her. She shivered, but kept still. Her lips felt icy and she closed her eyes, allowing her breath to escape once she felt the cold pull away. It was a strange feeling, but she adored it. It was the only way she could feel him now.

"Sorry, I know it's cold."

"It's okay. Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

A pause.

"I love you, too, Amy. You're as warm as always, by the way."

And then the line disconnected and all she could hear was that dull buzz on the phone. Her heart felt heavy and she closed her eyes. It was never easy getting off the line. Just as she closed her cell and placed it back on the nightstand, she glanced over to her window. The sun had just risen and slowly began to light up her room.


A/N

I don't know whether to continue this or not, I wrote it on a whim since the idea suddenly stuck me out of nowhere this evening.