Rapunzel

There once was a guy named Princeton T. Charming (Prince) who worked as a special agent for the Fairy Tale Detective Agency, also known as the FTDA.

One day he was assigned to find a missing girl, Rapunzel.

“How on Earth am I supposed to find her?” He said, looking at an age updated photo, “She was two years old when she was last seen -- and now she's nineteen.”

But, even so (because he was being paid), he decided to investigate the case. As Prince looked up her information in the Library of Important Scrolls, he came across a clue in an article.

Rapunzel is a missing girl from Fairitopy … she was last seen in the Witch's rapunzel garden…

He had it printed, but had to wait awhile, for the printer (a guy named Jake) was having trouble with his As, Is, and Es. Finally the printer handed Prince the info; and with the information Prince went home to smoke a pipe and think.

It took much thinking before Prince realized what he had to do. He returned to the library and used a scroll called Map Quest to find the Witch's garden. Fortunately the Witch's garden was not far away; it was just behind the Evil Forest. Prince grabbed his FTDA issued crossbow and headed into the forest. Luckily only fourteen dragons tried to eat him; and just twelve tried to fry him with their smoking hot breath.

When Prince finally reached the garden he saw one leaning tower in the middle.

“Interesting,” He said scratching his chin. Then taking a feather pen, ink and some paper from his pocket he mapped the garden and the tower for the reports he knew he'd have to file. There were several odd rock formations pointing in strange arrow like patterns to a certain point on the tower. Prince scratched his head.

“I'll need reinforcements.” He said to himself, after realizing that anything could be waiting in that tower – a rapunzel smuggling operation, a hoard of illegal crossbows, or worse – an angry elf in a speedo. He called for Cell Ular Phone (a fairy tale town messenger) to round up reinforcements from the FTDA. The reinforcements came hurriedly in to help their partner, speeding along in their cop-carts. They came with standard weapons as well as mountain climbing equipment, and an extra pair of clothes (just in case it was an angry elf in a speedo).

“Come out with your hands up!” Prince yelled at the tower, as his backup took positions around it.

“Please don't hurt me!” A soft voice yelled from the tower. “But I can't come down, I'm stuck up here. There's no staircase in this tower.”

“Well then, we’re coming up!” Prince yelled back. “Stand back lady,”

One of the backup raced toward Prince, and handed him an anchor on the end of a long line, then he quickly retreated. Prince swung the anchor around his head in a lasso like manner. Then, he let fly of the anchor, and watched as it made a perfect leap towards the tower window. It sailed through the window and caught on something.

“I'm going up.” Prince said to his fellow FTDA. He, looking quiet scared that the girl in the tower might be hiding something (like a crossbow for instance), and then he started up the rope. When he reached the top he was surprised to find a petite, shy looking woman blinking her long black eyelashes at him.

“Alright miss, I need you to climb down the rope. First you will need to-” Prince started,

“I know how to climb down a rope.” She sighed, with that, she hopped out of the window and smoothly moved down the rope. Prince followed her in a more clumsy undignified way. When they were both safely on the ground the woman explained her story.

“I'm Rapunzel. The Witch locked me up there when she found me eating the fruit of her garden – her rapunzels; as I grew up she brought me food every day, and everyday reminded me that I never was to eat of the rapunzels again.”

“Oh, Rapunzel! I have your lunch!” A pretty older woman called out, as she entered the garden.

“Is that the Witch?” Prince asked (he always thought witches were ugly).

“Yes.” Rapunzel said.

“Why did you ruin my tower by throwing an anchor into it? You could have just followed the arrows to the elevator.” The Witch huffed.

The backup sprang from hiding, and cuffed the Witch.




The Witch was taken to court for kidnapping. She was found guilty. Her sentence was thirty years, with possible time off for good behavior.

Prince, after the roller-coaster ride of an investigation took leave to Rome, which he found not at all relaxing.

Rapunzel, now freed, went on to get a degree in psychology.

The angry elf in a speedo sued me for being mentioned without permission in my story, and now lives in a mansion atop a hill, with all my money.


And they all lived... happily... ever after (except for me).