Forest Huckstain

Forest Huckstain, although sometimes silly, was no dope;
he greeted people with, “You’re my only hope!”
Then for all those who did not know he liked Star Wars,
he would chant, “Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan” while crawling on all fours.

He did this once, outside of Sears--people were annoyed;
someone called security--for that, they used their Droid.
“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” he chanted like a song;
but the law said, “He can go about his business...move along.”

“Now, I am the master,” said Forest, feeling smug;
when he cried out, “Use the force!” it made most people shrug.
It got so bad that folks would sometimes wear the other shoe:
the moment they saw him, they would say, “May the force be you!”

Of course, Forest was quick to point out, “with” was omitted;
many in the neighborhood wanted him committed.
There was one fellow, named Darth, who he really did annoy;
once Darth got ticked and snapped, “Into the garbage chute, flyboy!”

Forest was not fazed by this--in fact, his blood was ice;
he quipped, “Only Imperial storm troopers are so precise.”
Darth’s veins bulged out on his forehead and his face turned red;
“You just watch yourself,” and Darth continued, “Or you’ll be dead.”

“O Darth, my Darth, should brains apply, then you would have no lease.”
“Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!”
Forest laughed out loud--being called a glob of grease was fun;
yet he muttered, “The force is strong with this one.”

Darth eyed Forest narrowly, continuing as an agitator;
Forest quipped, “You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor.”
Darth tensed himself and thinned his eyes to where he could barely see;
“Is this a much more wretched hive of scum and villainy?”

They were getting nowhere with this jousting face-to-face;
so a casual passerby suggested that they race.
But just before the man said, “Go”, Darth felt intense chagrin,
when he heard Forest clearly say, “Let the Wookie win.”

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