A Love Letter

You are my love. I can not get rid of you.
I can not escape, I can not forget. In the perfectly romantic house, broken and chipped where it was only more magical. You led me up the stairs. This day was planned. I was happiest of all to be here instead of school. I undressed for you. I took down all my barriers with you, as I usually did . Our brains connected in a way that only they could.

I beg for you to call me to you. Beg you to demand my time. Beg you to try. To reach out and be mine. I can not tell you how I am so patient and so needy at the same time. I will loose track of my want for you. But you are my disease. You have a wrath on my mind. My soul delights to have your thoughts on mine. It keeps me going and I don’t know how. I love you. And I always have. I don’t know how to get rid of the slick continuous scars you have left all over my skin.

I stripped for you and you drew me. We were seemingly alone. Not that it mattered we did it anyway. Lighting. Bed. Sheets. Naked. When you finished I could see the distraction that it had made. A kiss. Your body was shaking from the nervousness that we both had. You tried to lie to me but my diligence didn't let you go. A confession and then it was there . I had been your only one. I keep your grace in  my heart. Because you have my heart. I want to say a million words to you but not being ready I don't know what to say.

I don't know how to make you choose me. Always you choose to evade me. You are my catch. My tiger that keeps me yearning for more. What do I do with this called love? How do I keep it away? How do I keep my thoughts from you? I can never just leave. My wants boomerang every time trying to understand what this is. To cope I picture us years from now hand in hand in the relationship that only we can have. Slow and mindful and complacent. You are mine and I am yours but we are still independent. This is why I choose to wait. I will wait for you as long as I have to . I will wait for you until the last day of this earth. Because you are mine and I keep you in the softest part of my heart, my chest. Waiting without anxiety. Waiting without want.

Loving you and giving you the freedom of not expecting a response. I don't need one from you. I don;t need to know if you've moved on. Because when I see you, I am happiest for your happiness. I smile and giggle to myself and am completely elated to see you happy. I don’t need a response for my love. I require nothing because my love is free. My love for you is not one of possession it is one or pure adoration. I adore you . For all I know I may not be your love but you are mine. I like to think that you are mine but it does not matter. You are my peace maker. My angel and if I can keep loving you without wanting anything then this is the love I want.

One day I will give you all my poems. All my paintings, my drawings and my love letters. You will know what feelings I have had for you. And it might come from the blue or it might be expected but it does not matter either way.Because that love for you was felt no matter what. My love for you has been nurtured for you in the softest womb. I care not about the events that have taken up the time in between seeing you. But I know that all this time, years and years means something. You are my meeting of minds. You are my soulfire. Catching me and leaving me begging for nothing but the chance to get you off my skin. You cover me like powder, soft and sheer and sweet as I try and lick myself clean. You are the sugar I taste off my skin. Unseen and unasking but enjoyed.