An Evening Walk

I look at my life, and I think.. How is it that I am where I am?
Where have all of my memories gone? Why do I feel so fake and empty?
I can't seem to explain how I am who I am. And it bothers me. I look at pictures of myself and It's like looking into a window. I was never really there. I have to ask, if I am really here now... Or am I just painting another picture? Would the better question be...do I want to be here?
Is just being supposed to feel like floating and do I like the way the air flows gently around me as I fall?
I have never felt like I have a home. Somewhere to go when you want to be yourself and set your mind and heart at ease.
Reflection does nothing if you can't remember who you are. If I seem sad, I am not. My only problem is that there are multitude of feelings I could put next. I find that I am unable to explain because what I feel wouldn't mean the same thing to you. How many times can I realize that life is, what it is, where it is, who it is.
By whoever or whatever... Life has been given to you. You are alive. So why would you expect anything from it. It only has the meaning you give it. An energy that can only be directed by the holder. So what are we asking for? Who do we want to give it to us? Do we really want to understand what we are? Then how is it we are looking everywhere except where we know the answers lie.
Life is ever moving but the motion is not what is important. Its the things that make the time stand still.