crush on Go. kinda love story:)

Crush on Go

10th June 2011 was the last time I saw him – my japanese crush.
I always knew that my interest to exotics is much bigger than just usual interest. All nations are the same in many aspects; some nations are too interesting just to pass a chance to know’em closer. I’ve got a chance to meet a wonderful young japanese soccer player who came to my country to play at local mediocre football club. Beautiful face, nothing special for asians, but seemes so attractive for me. Handsome body, yeah, sport rocks! And something unbelievable misterious in his eyes – charisma, I guessed.
I saw him at the TV-show cut as he was the first japanese soccer player at ukrainian football so kind of celebrity heheh. Even though I am not the bravest one and easy-going lady and it’s not my habbit to get friends or even boyfriends through the social networks, I recognized something that mattered for me so much in this person. Something that I knew would be the biggest mistake to loose it, not to try to know him closer. So I found him on Facebook and asked for a friendly date, and whoah, I met him a few weeks later so I could see him in real. What a difference between life and camera, that’s what I thought. I recognized his gestures and mimics but it was still totally another person than I draw in my head: different voice, different behavior, different everything. The one thing left was his beautiful face. Sounds silly, huh? I know it does. But secrets everywhere – they caught me, yeap, that’s what I like. Secrets often make an illusion that person who keep them is wise and has a rich life experience – that’s what I treasure in men. I also often see people in wrong way – in way I draw’em in my head. When I meet new people, I think I already know them well. No, I don’t.
Chatting… What a wonderful invention! It helps to keep a contact with people when they’re far from you but it never can replace a real communication. Not to see their faces or hearing voices – it sucks, cause I never know if I understand what people say in the way it mentioned to be. So alarm: chatting makes a huge illusion of relationship and it happens to everyone who runs away from real life. I really despise chatting! I prefer to go outside and meet with people, feeling their emotions and watching mimics, listening to different notes in their voices – living the same moments together.
I met his friend who came to my city from Dubai, that’s how I wanted to see his behavior with people he knows for a long time. Nothing changed. He always told me he is crazy. Dude, no you’re not! People who don’t know how to introduce their qualities think they’re crazy, so they’re kind of special and misterious. Yeah, right. Once I asked my japanese crush: “I don’t need you to be cool or funny, just be yourself”. “Ok”, he answered and I saw nothing crazy after that.
Dude has being learning russian so he asked me to help him a little bit. Sure. Why not? More time spending together, I thought. More chances to know him better. The only thing which united us was that both of us loved to learn foreign languages so all the dialogs included this item more than anything else. And yes, it made me feel embarassed. And yes, it made me being sure that anything else will not figure out with him even though he was still beautiful, I was dissapointed with his wiseness, life experience and telling the truth: he was not the one I was looking for. Fail!
My japanese crash was becoming sort of friend to me while I was realising a loss of any romantic feelings to him. Secrets? No more. Trustful? Definitely no. Crash? Mm not at all. Everything I thought would be interesting for me in this wonderful human creature was gone. Or it never existed at all?
10th June 2011 was the last time I saw my japanese crush. And I don’t miss him. These three months were like stolen from my life – thanks for experience, that’s all I can say. That’s a mistery, but the sort of emptyness still take place inside of my mind. Something dissapeared from my life, anyway I don’t think I would need it in future.
God bless!