Not myself

          For some reason, I do not feel like myself. I feel down and out. Restless and tired. Like I have worked a long shift as a waitress or did some kind of construction work. I feel like crying, yelling, screaming, and shouting to the Heavens my problems. But, no one hears them, no one sees me. Just the thought of being alone is creepy to me.

          I feel hurt and betrayed, I don't know what else to do or who to turn to. No one really listens or they think they know what I am going through. But, they do not understand the pain I have or the darkness that i feel. Sometimes, I have pity on myself and sometimes I can not pick myself up and I stay down on the ground. Torn and beaten. Just everything haunts me. Everything tears me apart. Am I not as strong as I thought i am or was. Have I ever been strong or was I just kidding myself.  I know better than to let people get me down. I know better than to let other's ruin my day. So, what am I to do? Do I just lay down and take it? Or do I stand up and make myself known and heard?

          I am not one to lay down and not fight. So, I will take a stand and not just for me for everyone that has more days of being down and out. Depressed and not feeling up to it. I will be that someone.