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The room was grey with with the exception of a stream of light bursting through a crack in the closed blinds. The curtains were pulled so that they would touch in the middle, only they didn't. I could smell the dust,cluttered book shelf across the room. The shelf seemed depressingly, sad only for the reason being it held nothing. It stood alone baring only that of dust and dead insects curled up as if the life had been stolen out of them. Dead ladybugs filled the corners of the room and window. The smell made my nose curl up as if it had some deformity. A lone blanket covered the bottom of me, only coming to rest under my stomach. A feeling of security was added as well. This was his house and for that reason I had not cleaned what I thought should have never been there. He seemed relaxed in his sanctuary of dirtied possessions. The blanket was rough, but warm and comforting. It made a barrier to the things watching us, from those who hated us. He stirred beside me, but I only starred at the water, molded ceiling. I waited for his voice to fill the silence.

1 YEAR AGO

I felt my courage fold up like a secret note being passed. "This is the end for us. I can't breath." His face was unreadable. A smile confidently placed itself on his face, "If that is what you want." He knew that remark would burn a hole into my brain. I wanted to feel young and willing again. I wanted to feel as he wanted me too. I wanted us living in some dream never told; a universe never explored. I wanted life to feel predictable again, because I knew we were perfect. We would part our ways and live separated and undefined. We would change unknowingly, and live as strangers in a small world. I didn't say a word, but felt them creeping up my throat. I swallowed them down, and walked away from everything I wanted in life. Weeks had passed and I found myself wanting his attention. Friends would talk about him, and I wandered if they had been talking about me as well.