No New Look 76ers; I'll Pass

I believe in conspiracies. I believe in ironies. I believe in coincidences. I just do not know the difference between them. So when I heard the NBA and my beloved Sixers were returning to work on the same week The Clearing of Occupy Philly was happening, my ears perked, goose bumps rose, and heart raced. I knew there was a conspiratorial connection, even though it might be that Mayor Nutter just wants to put up the big Christmas tree.

Mayor Nutter just might agree with me that we cannot have two stinking groups, one literal and one figurative, in our fair city at once.  The two months of fighting for economic justice and equity by Occupy Philly could not stand in the face of the Christmas spirit of capitalism. We have to have our ramshackle village of oddities outside our dimly lit City Hall that houses our version of the isle of misfits. Who will come see the Wanamaker’s or Lord of Taylor’s or Macy’s one hundred year light show and haranguing organ if they have to step over the enthusiastically willing homeless? Occupy Philly truth hurts but not as bad as a weak dollar in a weak economy that would result in an empty stocking of tax revenue come New Year’s for city government.

Therefore, Mayor Nutter saw the light when the Philadelphia 76ers announced their return and decided that Occupy Wachovia would be better received if he rid himself of Occupy Philly. But let’s be honest, this  Sixers Roster is going to stink up South Philadelphia and other arenas around the league worst than the port a potties after a Eagles tailgate. We might be safe if the other teams have to play with their 5 signed players who are not free agents, especially since we have eleven players signed and no fear of anyone taking Thaddeus Young or Andre Iguodala. Nutter at least gets the city wage tax of Elton Brand’s 18,000,000. I am depressing myself into camping outside of Wachovia until the Sixers are forced to realize the injustice of making us watch this team for 66 games. 

At least we have Hip Hop!   

Wait –the only off-season move was The end of Hip Hop. The acrobatic, muscle laden, dew rag wearing rabbit has become part of the 99% and 20% without gainful employment. The press release is that he wanted to start a family and Philadelphia was no place for that.  He is enjoying his unemployment check in central PA avoiding the gunshots of amateur hunters.

So do we bring back Big Shot?

Not a chance. The new look, same game front office has hired professionals to give the old look, same game 76ers players a new mascot. The only hints are that it will be loved and an animal. Well I loved Big Shot and I was not sure what he was. I think the new mascot should be a walking NBA Championship Trophy. It might be the only chance in the next ten years that fans see one in our city.

So to recap – Occupy Philly is gone; Hip Hop is Gone; Big Shot is Still gone. But in return the Sixers are back, the Christmas Village is back and so is Mayor Nutter’s damn Christmas Tree.