See-through morning star

http://web.sleepingatlast.com/storage/flying%20owl.png?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSIO... (image)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed_h2_IivPg (song)


Years have passed by. We were owls hooting low and deep, making impossible sounds to everyone else, but understanding each other fully. We learned from each other, mainly I learned from you. I respected and followed you, placing my tiny feet on the mud I was amazed about how greater your feet were. My claws were then so small and from below I looked up to you with big bright eyes rounder than the moon itself. I recoiled under your wings whenever the night got colder, at that time; my feathers were thin and fragile. Your great embrace kept me warm and I searched in the sky for the ruling star and took it as a God. I thanked it for having you in my life, and swore that for loyalty to you I would die.

One morning I decided to tell you about my promise. We were great communicators so you listened to me and you nodded at every sentence. You understood my emotions and my rational fears. You were thankful and touched by the thought of having someone approve of you this much. From that day onwards you spoiled me with attentions and privileges. I felt loved and I thought I would feel this forever.

Soon enough though you changed, and so did I. We were flying the same path for such a long time that I no longer understood how to stay in the right track without your guidelines. I had to stay and you had to go, for I couldn’t fly that high up the mountains yet, I couldn’t breathe with all the pressure. You couldn’t stay low either because the other hoots up there sounded more appealing then mine. I understood your decision at the time, for we, owls, young or old, are very wise. I knew you would go down at the end, at the other side of the caverns and if we waited long enough I could get my lungs used to the different air from the heights. You entered.

I felt relieved when I saw your shadow cast over my right. I was no longer alone; I had you, by my side. Impatiently I waited, for you to tell me how brightly the sun shines up in the sky. Above the trees, through caverns and between mountains you had to rise, you told me in sheer enthusiasm about how amazing the other owls are. I was so happy for you, but I feared for myself, for I knew I could lose you to them and because I couldn’t rise so high so far.

After days of fun and transparent demonstrations of love, we again divide. You’ll come back to me in some other nights. Everyday I look up upon that very star, for it now shines just for me during morning light. I look at it with difficulty, almost see-through in the naked sky. I squint my eyes and see its golden outline. I say please help me fly, and let it be so very high. Like divine intervention, a gift from who has might, everyday I reach a little further, closer to you am I.

Still the effort and the prayers seem not to pay off. Although closer to you, I feel more distant than ever before. We talk but not with the same passion anymore. We catch fish but I dive deeper than you to get the most succulent kind, and you barely skim the water for the laziness keeps you dry. I look older, my eyes not so innocent and more judgmental am I,my feathers thicker and greater in size. My nails tougher and darker than any owl you’d ever find. I’m barely the same bird anymore. You seem older too, but weaker, and you seem to be shriveling up in size. Your eyes are now distant as you constantly look behind, and then upwards again, on the search of those other friends you have, and none are also mine. Your once great wings now flap slowly and I try to slow down while you’re lagging behind. I couldn’t see you, it was like you were see through, and I felt that I no longer needed you. But as always, I wanted you, I wanted to be yours and I wanted you to be mine.

I conformed myself to the thought we’re just not anymore what we used to be. I understood your changes because I knew I was also going through mine. This was what kept me enduring your attitude of little interest on our lives. But one day, it came the time to decide. I wanted to see you up where you belong even if I had to die. So I flied out of my limits, yes, I made the sacrifice. I almost lost breath, but I got up there in the heights. I spotted you from the distance, a little ahead of where was I. I was shocked by how you were acting with the other owls. Suddenly you seemed young and vivid again and I couldn’t understand how or why. It pained me like the deathly embrace of a wild bear when I came to realize, it was not you being unhappy all the time, but you being unhappy when you are by my side. You looked happy but also mean, you had an evilness in your eyes that I never thought I’d find. You beaked and scratched other owls in a violent manner though you did not do that to fight, but to demean and with bad intentions you enticed. I took my promise back, I no longer would die for you and I do not want you to be mine.

I flew downwards disappointed and understanding that what I lived through with you was merely just a lie, a fairy-tale to the younger me who liked the illusion of us, my favorite sight. It was a great story the one we had but reality showed its true light, and now the pages in our book seem to be thorn and frowned. What we felt and what we were are just memories lost in time, you were my hero but now what you have turned out to be, is what I despise.

Now we are like silver and stone. Now, I fly wisely and I fly alone, until I see owls of amazing grace in the distance, and whose shadows cast over the forest in an arrogant manner, like mine. My pride and honor almost prevent me from letting the last tears I will cry for you make my feathers wet, but not quite. I am now an independent wild beast and on my success you can bet.

I look ahead and disappear in the light of the see-through morning star.