All You Need To Be

My Beloved,



I have known you for eighteen years, yet at times it's as if I don't know you at all. I know you are confused ,angry, lost and desperate for clues. I know that you feel like you have been dragged through the dirt, I know where you stand and I know that it hurts. I know when you plaster a smile on your face, and yet fervently let your mind wander to the endless possibilities of putting an abrupt yet tempting end to your life.



At the age ten, you had hoped to accomplish something by eighteen; maybe you pictured yourself as 'something'. And now at eighteen you only wish to escape.Life isn't what you had hoped for, and I know at times you hate. That's alright. Life is messy, world is scary, merely existing is exhausting every now and then; but we all get through it right? We survive. Maybe tomorrow would be different. Brighter. As the cliche goes, 'Night is the darkest before the dawn', and that is when you see the stars.



Maybe tomorrow : you won't wake up with the guilt already weighing you down, it won't feel like an ordeal to do the mundane chores, you won't avoid making eye contacts, you wouldn't wish you were invisible, you won't feel the hot tears spring to your eyes and feel the world close around you, you might not feel alone in the crowd, maybe you will find the answer to your questions and not die a little inside every time you fail to attain.



May you choose the right path, whether it is the less traveled one or overly traveled. May He guide you to be a better person; for every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. It could get worse, it could get better, at the end of the day you have yourself. And all that matters is that you make yourself happy, along the way achieving your dreams.

                                                                       



Yours truly,

your shadow.