i always thought i would see you again

This poem is one I wrote tonight overcome with sadness about the death of a friend who I never was able to say good-bye to. He was the inspiration for my "Weasel" character (see Weasel's addiction). Sadly that is how he died several months ago. He never knew how much he meant to me.
RIP Chris Roesch (Squid) 1971-2011


I always thought I would see you again


Usually I think of you and I’m ok…..
I miss you and am inspired by you
I wish I could have known you longer...
But I’m ok

But sometimes
I can’t stop crying as I realize that I never really said good-bye
I thought that I would see you again
So I never said good-bye

The door is still broken as it was
The night they came to get you
I wasn’t there
I was downtown
As I saw the cop cars go up the hill I wondered
But I didn’t think it was for you

I wanted so badly to go with you that night
But you wouldn’t let me
You and Jurm went off together
And I was left out
I was angry at you when I left, never to see you again
I wish we would have been together at the end

My hear aches as I think of how I miss you
And how I just wanted you to let me stay with you
But how were you to know
You would never see me again

You spoke to me on the phone after
You wanted money
And I gave it willingly
I always thought I would see you again

I wrote you letters
But you never replied
I was hurt but resigned
I always thought I would see you again

I wish I would have known when you would leave forever
I wish so much
We never had a chance to get to know each other as we should
All the things that never were haunt me

If your ghost was to haunt me I would not be scared
I would be happy
Because
I always thought I would see you again