When u cant trust no-one

Easy living,

First of all,im not a writer nor storyteller.Its my first blog to write,so i hope you wont judge me of my way to write.

It was bout 10 years ago.I was living every mans dream.I was in late twenties,full of joy of life and adventurous.I chose the way of living like thousands of others on that time,inspired by some movies and books.My goal was to live asia,in Thailand land of smiles and joy.That was my idea of the country for many years before the whole truth of the country and its corrupted system opened to me.Thats the story what im bout to tell.

My name is Johan,and im from Sweden.My life there is like everyone elses life.Boring,long working days and hard drinking.Thats about it,honestly got nothing cheering to say about living in europe.

Its week in april after millennium.Sun is allready shining but its still cold in north Sweden where i live.Im going home with my car from work.Its monday,and im depressed by knowing that whole week is full long hours at work again including saturday.Ive used to work saturdays to fit my budget make until paydays.My salary was so shitty that it was enough only basic needs and bills.
i stopped my old wreck nissan on my mailbox.Took a pile of letters in seat beside me and drove in yard of my rented apartment.
Walk in house and my dog was happily jumping againts me wishing me welcome home.I smashed my self on sofa and took letterpile on my hands.
Electric bill,visa bill,some small bills from different occasions.Then brown big envelope with no marks on top.i opened and saw a official looking paper inside.Cannot believe my eyes.It was from my work,and they send the news by letter.Cannot just tell me straight on my face while i was still at work.
"Dear employee Johan xxxxxx,were sorry to inform you that our mutual co operation is now over.Our company is making arrangements to save...blaa blaa blaa....and that it.So cold and official letter.I was working almost 10years in that factory and i knew everyone like brothers there,and thats what i get.I felt my hands shake...anger,frustration,worry...then...i feel nothing.
I took my binoculars and wore boots and left the house.I went nearest hill in forest near my place.Sat on the rock and closed my eyes.
Think Johan..think.What will i do.Im back to square one.No work,expenses will keep coming but nothing in my life.
I sat there bout 2 hours and then i just made my mind.Il will leave all the shit behind.

Take out,

Next day.i was sitting in travel agency,waiting a saleswoman to look me cheapest airliner to fly asia.Stockholm-bangkok.Cheapest possible so i took it.I headed home,made arrangements with my friends.One my friend was happy to get my apartment in his use.My mom took Pele(my dog) and most of things went smoothly.I told everyone that im gonna hang round thailand a month and then go back.I dint bother to tell then that i got kicked of work.As they say out of sight out of mind.
Next 3 days were busy...collecting all extra cash i can get.I sold all electric equipments i had.Luckily my hobby was music so i got some guitars with nice value and easy to sell.
I went to bank and change my money to dollars.I got something like 8000dollars.Well,thats enough for me.i can manage long time in asia with that money as long as i live nicely.
I remember the feeling wehn i stepped out of bankdoors...the cold air slapped my face and my heart jumped.What ive just done was erasing my life in Sweden.Ive sold all personals i have and now theres no return..im leaving.

On the way,

Passengers this is captain speaking,well be arriving Don Muang international airport shortly.Me and rest of our flightcrew would like wish you happy and pleasant stay in thailand.
Exactly,pleasant.That was my goal.Doesnt matter where i locate as long as i get sun,sea and some beers im happy.
After customs i took taxi to city at waiting area.eading to khao san of course,where else tourist with tourist book hand would go at first nite.
I booked my self in local shithole near gullivers bar.Prize was amazing 100bath a night,though that prize was double too much to comparing the quality of that piece of junk.
I headed out.maybe 30 minutes in street bar in the vibe of khaosan road and i allready got 4 foreigners sitting in my table.2 guys from Australia and 2 girls from Germany.Seemed like we all got same point of view in life.Leave the capitalistic shit behind and be free.
They got allready plan where to go.I didnt so i was open all ideas.We made up our minds and we headed to koh Chang island in south of thailand east coast.
Well i didnt know what went to me but i got that weird urge to go out of the bus after couple hours.I was looking where we are are i saw the sign on the highway,Pattaya 14km.Ok.im gonna exit there.So i told my friend,sorry but cant saty bus becus getting too motion sick.No prbs mate they said and we farewell and i jumped out the bus.
I just arrived in the city of sin and liberty.It was round 9pm at nite and noice from the streetbars was horrible.Dozens of girls gathering around me while i was pulling my suitcase on the sidewalk trying to find cheap room.Well didnt took long to find one.Pattayas full of guesthouses and i did find nice and cheap one.Place was run by chinese thai couple.Nice people i though,didnt really speak english but i got th eroom and i was happy.

Settling down,

3 months been allready gone in pattaya.My plan was to stay here just copule days,but the place sucked me in and i got hooked so called pattaya syndrome.Too much fun and too horrible hangover everyday,that just keeps u in and u push the leaving on next day.
I wasnt exception among the tourists in pattaya.i drank beer nightly and of course i tasted the delicacies what thai ladies can offer for falang.

Its around 9am and im sitting on germanese coffee shop having some hangover breakfast.Greasy eggs with piles of ham and bacon are good friend for hangover.And if you combine that with cold singha..the day is not so bad at all.
Im reading news paper,when i hear quiet hello.I look around me and i see this cute looking thailady standing next to the cafe at sidewalk and smiling.I say hello,and politely asked im sorry but i dont remember to see you before.Im bit ashamed,becus she might be some bargirls that just cant remember thanks to pack of beers.
She say,its ok me not nou you,me new here but me need help.Can u help mee.Ok fair enough i think.Whats your problem dear.Then she started to talk and i invited her to join me and i bough her cup coffee,well she wasnt that bad looking at all even she didnt wear those bar outfits to reveal most her body.
I find out that shes just arrived from bangkok to pattaya and looking work but have no money.Ok classical case.papas little angel been sent to work in pattaya,Now papas waiting in Buriram that girls gonna send western union money soon.
Well we talked allmost couple hours and she seemed kinda lovely girl.So innocent with her big black eyes.Now i started to feel that i need to go back room but i didnt know what to tell here.I didnt want to ask her to my room,becus then i got problem how to get rid of here and im sure after 15 mins in rooms shes allready offering her pie to me like thaigirls in pattaya used to do.
So i just tell her to go afternoon on one hotel where i used to go swimming.I was sure she wont show up there and got my point.
Well while i was sitting at pool..i heard that hello again.She was standing there with bikinis on and i didnt believe my luck.Wel well well.Now seems that shes a hard case and really wants to hang aorund with me i though.So i cave her a change.I told her that we can be a friends.Im not gonna buy sex from her just to keep things clean and easy.She seemed ok with that.We spended whole afternoon at pool and got nice time.
Sunset came and we split.I didnt know where seh go and honestly i didnt spend second though for that.

Three days later i was on walking street and saw few my friends.We went bit barhopping and checked few gogos.Nice basic night out...beer flows and money goes.I was about to leeve the beerbar when someone touch my hand.And there she was again.My mysterical girl from burilam.
i gotta say 3 days made allready big change on here.And probably becus 12beers twisting my head she started to look decent in other way.
She was wearing high heels and ultrashort skirt that if you use it without shaving u will show your hairs,and i dont mean the hairs in your legs.
We decided to go sit one more beers in beergarden next to walking street.
it was obvious that shes freelancer now and looking a bate.
As the beer went dont it was allready late and we both seemed bit sleepy so we decide to go my room.Well i didnt plan it to go this way but booze change the man.On the way we walk in my room i asked her to show me some ids.i just wanted to be sure shes legal and not some badtrip junkie.She got 3 different id:s so i was satisfied.21 years old and name was Nit.
At room things went smoothly.She was so drunk that we couldnt do anything.She pass out allmost immediately,so i just took shower and went sleep also.
Here stops the bright side of thailand.

Karma,

I wake up,my head is like glass in elefants gage...anytime ready to burst in pieces.i go fridge and take cold beer.I look around and find out that Nit is gone.Well probably getting bfast i think.Girls dont go away here at morning before they get money.And my wallet is in safe so no worries.I sit in my balcony and i notice that guy from next door is also sitting on his balcony.We change the topics shortly and we both realise that hangover is stable part of living Pattaya.
Then he suddenly asked me did i heard the noise downstairs.I said now,why i asked.He told me that he waked the noise and looked out and there was police at guesthouse lobby.Ok..might be some drunkster making drama.thats normal here police is busy at small hours.
But then he said" police also say really clearly man from sweden".Then my heart jumped WTF?Im the only swede here thats for sure but i havent done anything.He looked me with weird glaze in his eyes but didnt say anything,just sipped his coffee.
Then i heard the knock of the door.
My heart jumped and i tasted the metallic taste in my mouth.Whos that.i walked to the door and asked whos there,and i hear Nits voice,"its me honey".Oh ok,shes ok...and i opened the door.She was standing there and her all make ups was ruined on her cheeks.But she wasnt alone.Two tough looking thaiguys was with him.I asked whats wrong,but she start to cry.Then the other thaiman say.No you big trouble,now you pay.And i say what a fuck u mean?whats the deal here,make yourself clear.Then he said"U hurt my sister,u make she cry,u make sex her shes only 15.Now u big trouble."
Shit i felt coldcuts turning my belly and my armhairs go up.What the fuck is going on i think.I was wordless,didnt really know what to say.
"Nit,tell these guys thats not true.We have goodtime and you have your ids.Youre 21 ryt?"
Shes no 21,shes now 15.She have no id or paper.U are real trouble now.
Jesus,cant believe what i heard.I asked Nit to show them papers,but she now tell me that she dont have any and shes only 15years old and needed to lie to me to get money and shelter.
Think think think Johan.Use your brains now...whats going on here.Then the other thai man came in and took my hand and ask me to follow him.He lead me to balcony and point a guy on dowstairs.there was guy sitting on motorbike and i instantly regognise the face.That was the same guy who was sitting in same coffeeshop on that morning when we meet with Nit.I remember he sat behind Nit and looked newspaper and he wore this leather amulet on his neck.He got these really easy remember face so i instantly regognise him.
Now i realised that something is badly wrong.Ive been set up and im alone here in middle of nowhere and only thing i can trust now is myself.
You see that man on motobike thai says.He go soi 9 police station if we make no deal.Then u go long holiday thailand,U rape lady u go prison.
Rape?WTF i didnt even touch her.She was too wasted to fuck.
Now im getting to worry.Who can i talk my situation.No one here.Pattaya is know to be the nest of all perverts in world and daily dozens of dirty crimes happen here and falangs dont have any rights in thailand when it goes to crimes.Im fucked i thinked.
Thai started talk to me.U need pay 100thousand bath today.Girl need go hospital check and clean.If u no pay u go jail.
Fuck.what im gonna do.If i dont pay they surely take that corrupted thai police here and then its game over.But i got no 100k.I got probably 40k left.Thanks to my hard drinking all my money was gone.And then theres other problem.I can withdraw only 10k a day at teller machine.
Ok.Think again Johan think hard.
Then the other thai say to me.Now we go bank and u pay.Then i told him the facts that i got only 2thousand bath in wallet and i can witdraw 10 a day,so they must wait 10 days to get 100k.They said thats no work u pay now.Then i told em that only way to get the money fast is to call my mom and ask her send me money.But that will also take one day because its too early in sweden and those transctions take time.
I notice the other guy started to be nervous and start look his watch constantly.
i was thinking now i must play smart and win some money.
I told em that they might get the money at tomorrow if everuthing go smoothly ut not earlier.thats best i can do now.Take it or leave it.If they bust me police now they wont get penny.
Now also the other guy went panic.he said something to nit in thai,but i didnt understand.
"ok.now u listen.U give me ur passport and then we go.We come tomorrow get money and u get passport.then u leave pattaya."
Ok.now im getting lucky i think.My passport was on immigration for fixing visas.i was about to pick it up today.
So i just told the guy.My passport is at immigration.U may ask it there.they fix my visa and i get it after 2 days.
Now i got time to think again.
Now the other guy was really getting pissed of and didnt hide it.he push me at my back so hard that i felt on the bed.
We have your photocopy your passport.we get it reception this hotel.
Ok.Thats bullshit i was thinking.They never even asked my passport at reception.Now i knew that they were really dirty bastards just being desperate and their plans didnt go like they wanted.
We go back tomorrow.U get the money and pay.Tomorrow u pay or passport copy go police and we report rape girl.
Ok.do what u want i though,I aint gonna be thailand tomorrow.
We now look after you.U cannot go without pay.someone report us and u go trouble.Tomorrow 14pm they say.
Ok.Thats a deal.
They went and i closed my door.I could feel my clothes stink around me.Its the stink of adrenaline and sweat mixed together.
Now Johan.Every move u make effects rest of your life.That what i was thinking.

Think,summary,run

Now i was finally alone in room.Time to think rationally or as rationally man can do in that case.
I decided to go travel agency and book first flights to europe.Police didnt have my info yet so i can travel safely safely.I wnet to travel agengy and found myself a ticket.Tomorrow morning but that fair enough.They were coming at 14pm so ill be over pakistan on that time..heheh.poor thai bastards.
I took baht taxi to my hotel and went to room.I started pack my stuffs,and god i was nervous.Feels like someones at my back all time.It was really hard to concentrate so i just stuff all my clothes and things and closed the backs.
I was sitting on my bed when i heard some loud talks dowstairs.I went at window and looked.POLICE.holy shit.They got desperate and report the police.Now im REAL REALLY fucked.Im mean FUCKED in big letters.Million things went thru my head...what to do now.I got probably 1 minute before they knock my door.i went out my room.I knock my neighbours door.I was guarantee hes in the room.I knew his schedules better than he does himself.And he was.He opened the door.Wearing just boxershorts and looking like pile of shit.Almost dead of hangover i was thhinking.
I told him.Now do me favor.Dont ask anything just listen.I told him police gonna go in my room in any minute.just keep me here until theyre gone.If they go knock his door and ask something just nag them at danish language like he allwasy so to everyone.nobody really likes him here becus hes so loud and allways yelling to people.
We were both sitting,when we here the management opening my door.They stayed in maybe 2 minutes.Probably looking my stuffs and realising that i was leaving becus all was packed.then they closed the door.We heard the knock.I went to bathroom and my neighbour open the door.they asked him if he has seen me,and he said dont you idiot have better things to do than wake him in hes hangover..and by the way bring me 3 cold chang dowstairs while u move your lazy thai ass there..That was all they need.his nagging works really good and they left.
Then came the unpleasant silence.He looked me with hes fathering eyes and without any words we got the conversation.He knew i was fucked and he said me.Remember,Pattaya can eat man alive...many many ways.
I say thanks to him and went back to my room.I was panic.Totally losing it.Now the police is in game and the 1000dollar ticket i just bought is now useless.I cant take the risk to go airport.thats the last place to go safely.I need leave the country by land.laos,cambodia or malaysia.malaysia was the only option.Not the fastest but the easiet way to go europe.
I need to go bangkok i was thinking.
Then door knock again.i allmost let in my pants.then i heard familiar voice its me.oh.my neighbour.
He came in my room and told me maybe the best advise ive never had.he said i better leave my bags at his room and go without any bags.police is probably coming back soon and if they see the bags are gone they will look foreigners with bags.So when i leave my bags there i will go without bags and im not the primary target.WTF is he james bond just retired here.Thats smart i thought.
So i did
Now all my personal stuff left at his room i said goodbye to him and told him i will call him once i get outta shit and tell him all story.No problem.Say hi to Sweden he said.take care and never come back.These bastards remember you.
Ok i wont thats for sure.I wont even pee on that countrys position.
I took my moneybelt and camera and went out at backway.
Now i was at new beginning.My flight sched was fucked and my passport was still at immigration in jomtien.Now i must be smart.probably police still not report my case to the immigration becus its separated organisation here and tooks time to process things here.So im between the hammer and anvil.I need to get my passport to leave the country,and i must face the risk to go immigration.Well thats not gonna be the last heartbeating moment i was thinking.its still long way to malaysia and anything can happen.
I headed to baht taxi and jomtien way...ride took long becus afternoon traffic that way was horrible.Also my nervousness makes the time crawl...litterally crawl.
Once i get jomtien i jumped out taxi.I chose couple sois(streets) before the immigration,just to be sure i see if someones following me.i walk slowly like regular tourist coming back from the beach and heading to room.I stopped at one hotals downstairs where they got this typical hotel restaurant.I took one singha to calm my nerves.That was good spot to look both ways and spot if someones is too interested me.Nothing catch my eyes,totally nothing.Things looks good.During the last sip of the beer i remember saying myself...lord dont let this be the last coldbeer for me.Let me get the hell outta here.
Gotta say,i was wreck of emotions and feelings.i couldnt get rational thoughs in my mind.Only things crawling my head was those horrorstories of deadtrapped thai prisons where humans turn to animals due to lack of humanrights in thailands prison system.Those prisons there was made to humiliate man and kill him slowly.Those guards in thail prisons got some sick pleasure of humiliating prisoners,and that was the last place i wanna
go.
After i finish my beer,was time to head immigration.Once i get immigration i started to feel the cold sweat running down my armpits and back.
I was standing at line to wait my turn and in my mind i was waiting the voice to say,are you mr Johan xxx..may we have word with you please.
Well lucky me that didnt happen.I got my passport and it felt like best gift ever.Never bee so happy to hold swedish document in my hand.
I get of immigration and headed back to beachroad.There i felt safe.Tons of people loitering of the beach so it was easy to fit in.
Then i got my James Bond moment.I was thinking waht to do to minimize the change someone regognise me.Easy.I need to be chameleon.
I headed to souvenier plaza where they gots lots of tourist shit for sale.ThinkJohan think....i must become opposite what i am now.
My normal outlook was neat.I allways wear polo shirts,decent shorts or jeans with brands,never flip flops,but allways leather shoes or golf sneakers.
So i decided to go packpackers way.I felt the waves of shame go over me just to think wear those buddha pants and hippie shirt with cheap flipflops and look like pennyless raghead,,just like all tourist in khaosan.That was somekinda status for these backpackers how they wanted to look.Even the thai people openly laugh at them the way they try to be somesort of worldjesuses,they still keep doing that.
I bought myself grey loose hippie pants and some horrible looking ac/dc t shirt.Lousy looking flipflops and this stupid hippieback they all carry.I looked like shit.If i ever wear like that in sweden people would laugh me to death.Well,,gotta pay the prize to survive.
I went taxi standand took taxi to bangkok.600bath fixed prize.And we go.On the way to out pattaya taxi drove pass the hotel i was staying and wasnt surprise for me there was police pick up parked next to hotel.I knew waht they were looking for,but this time i was smarter than those monkeys.
I get some sleep at the way to bangkok.It was round 8pm when i arrived khaosan area.
I book cheapest shithole i could findand headed out.I went in the main street of khaosan and picked crowdiest bar i saw.It felt safe to sit with hundred other buddhalike foreigner and take beer.
I booked a trip to songhla in south thailand by nitebus.All busses to singapore and malaysia was full at morning so i decided to go in two splits.Atleast in local bus i wouldnt be the one to search.More in risk with those charter highprice commuters which are filled with buddhapackers...heheh i felt my self laughing first time in whole day.Buddhapackers.Perfect name.
Few english blokes questioned me how was my baclpacking thing in thailand so far.Did it open my eyes.God dam it did,but i just replied,its ok,been here many times.Its funny how those youngster roam in thailand accommodate in lousiest shitholes and praise the lord how their eyes are opened,how they see the light and wanna live harmony.Whatta shit...how can that kinda lifestyle open your eyes...somesort perversion i guess.
Well its everyones own choice.Live like squat if you want.Just dont mess the law here or youre fucked.And sometimes youre fucked even you dont,just like what happened to me.
Well the morning arrived.After really sleepless nite was time to head in the buss.I took the buss at 4.30am just next to khaosan and jumped in.I recline my chair and tried get some sleep.At later afternoon i arrived songhla.My ass was blistering and i felt tired.I guess the excitement made me exhausted.I
In songhla i took an overnite trip to singapore.I was feeling better now.Route where we go was small bordercustoms and change to get caught there was minimal.Last time my ass was sweating cold sweat was at the immigration.Luckily everything went smoothly,and after really long ride i arrived at singapore.I needed to stay there 3 days to receive money for my ticket to sweden.Even my stay at singapore i still felt paranoid though i know i was safe now.At changi airport once i got in taxfree area,i could finally breath.Shit in paradise was over.Im comig home.No matter theres no work,atleast theres people with self esteem and trust.Even desperate situation we wouldnt go so low like they do in thailand.
My trip to asia was done.i dont say im not going back,but i can say im not going back to thailand.Thats for sure.Ive seen the twisted face of that place and that was enough for me.
That was a story of a traveller.I know theres many of these,some true some not.But what was the lesson.Dont trust there anyone,because when it goes to money those people are willing to sell their soul and parents.