Hope is our worst enemy

Foreword:

Once I knew a couple. Even though they weren't married, they had been living together since years and they really wanted to have children. Then finally, they got lucky and the woman became pregnant. They were unspeakably happy and wanted this little one really bad. However, they liked to motorcycle a lot. One afternoon they sat on the motorbike; they didn't get lucky that day. A drunk driver was going too fast. All three of them died in the accident. Since then I buried this memory deep inside me. The picture of the perfect couple now only exists in my dreams, because in real life I know: life is much more villainous than that. If something good happens in my life, I know it won't last. I've already resigned. And what the hell happiness is, anyway? Nobody really knows this concept.

to D. G.

Chapter 1: About them

The girl was young and irresponsible, but we can blame her young age about that. She had an optimistic approach about things and even though life hasn't been always nice to her, she didn't care. She was looking forward and believed in the future. She believed that at some point everything's going to change and get better. Since she was so hot-blooded she fell for guys pretty easily - but also got tired of them in no time. It's either that she didn't want to or was too afraid to stay with the same person for a longer period of time. She tried not to show it but her fears led her in everything she did and she couldn't overcome them. She knew that her expectations were way too high and that nobody could give her what she wanted. So she just moved ahead and forward, searching for something. Or someone. She loved to explore new things, get to know new people. Maybe that's where all her energy came from. She was never bored but was always able to find something in the world what she could wonder about and what made her, even if only for a little while, happy. She was some feet above the ground, actually.

The guy was visibly a few years older. When he was in her age he probably had her happy, careless attitude of somewhat in him too, but these few years were enough for him to lose it. He believed in such a thing what not many men believes in: that in this world there is someone, who is meant to be with him. Someone, who is waiting for him just like he is waiting for her. Once he had a longer relationship with a lady and back then he thought she was the one for him. He was wrong. She soon dumped him, saying that their relationship was suffocating her. I think that was the point when our man somewhat lost his faith in humanity. After that he couldn't really open up for anyone. He was afraid that he wouldn't get the same thing back what he gives into the relationship, that it wouldn't worth to take pride in. He didn't go further than sexual relations; only if he really needed to feel the touch of another human being; just like we all do sometimes. Most of the people bored him anyway and he didn't even try to get to know them better. He had that obsession that he is better than everyone else and when the time comes, someone is going to realize that and this person is going to fight for him. "Because she's gonna be gangster like that" - he thought. When he got depressed and felt alone, he made himself numb with some weed. He smoked it each day and didn't notice that he was drifting further and further from what he was searching for.

Chapter 2: Music as a drug

Nevertheless they had a common passion: they loved to play music. One note or harmony works like a miracle sometimes. No matter how bad your mood is, music is always able to help. Some melody can make us remember memories so old that we forgot them long ago. I think it's better than any drugs.
Once I knew a guy, who said that he hated music, because it makes people act differently. I say, that's the best thing about it! Don't we all want to make some differences deep inside? We want to go crazy, drop our skins and do something different than the usual. Maybe when we are different, that's when we are truly ourselves.