Online Journal

Sept 7, 1989 Dear Journal....today may have been the most awkward day ever. while wrestling with my girlfriend my peepee or as my mom calls it "wilbur" became strickin with what is called puff penis..."who come up with these things" it was so odd and oober painful. my girlfriend jumped on my back as kissed my head when all of the sudden abracadabra....it started to dig into the zipper on my pants. i told my gf that something was wrong but all she did was laugh and sit on me hard and i think she broke it. whats going on? am i the hulk?

Sept 7, 1989 (later that evening) Dear Journal...i made the big mistake of telling my mom of my hulk moment earlier today. so now im getting something she codenamed "the talk" and its not going well. i have no idea what shes talking about. and the idea of what is it called "sax"? sounds just freaking grodie. the idea is i am supposed to put it in a hole? why? i mean freakn weird i pee outta this thing. i just masterd the toilet and now i have to aim for something called a g spot? the pottys hard enough.. i guess this is growing up