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by sproke Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Other · Drama · #1758496
A small piece I wrote to experiment with dialogue and dialogue attribution.
“I got a problem for you.” Red said.
“Like a math problem?” Jock asked.
“No like a riddle.”
“A puzzle?” Jock asked.
“A fuckin question.”
“Why didn’t you just say that?”
Red took a belabored breath, pulled up his pant legs, and knelt down over the body bags.
“Just let me tell the fuckin thing? There’s a man and his wife, living in the suburbs. One day the wife comes into the kitchen holding a pregnancy test and bawling her eyes out, they decided to roll the dice and ride bareback one too many times. About nine months later, the little bugger pops out nice and clean.”
“Why clean?” Jock asked.
“The hell are you saying?”
“Babies don’t come out clean Red they come out messy. My cousin’s wife’s sister had a kid a few months back and he said the thing looked like it was covered in red jello head to foot.”
“What does this have to do with my story?”
“I thought it was a riddle, every part of a riddle is important Red.”
Red rose to his feet and took a cigarette out of the golden case he kept in the front pocket of his suit coat.
“It’s a question and if you keep blabbing on I’ll never get to finish it. Now a few years go by and the husband sees that his kid looks more and more like the neighbor across the street. Now the question is; If mommy has brown hair and brown eyes and daddy has brown hair and brown eyes, why does the kid have blonde hair and blue eyes?”
“Well ya see Red it could depend on a lot of things. The genes for blonde hair and blue eyes are recessive and could be carried in each parent, so they could have a kid like that Red.”
“What, you a geneticist all the sudden?”
“It’s kinda simple Red. Was that all there was to the question because after all the buildup I was hopin for a little more to it.”
Red turned and ducked under the yellow tape, passing through the doorway of the house and into the culdesac.
“Jesus I was just tryin to make the day a lil’ better Jock. The dad found out the kid wasn’t his so he smoked his wife and offed himself right after.”
Jock stared at the body bags.
“Kinda hard to make it a good day after all that.”

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