The Short Story of Jade Bailey

One day, Jade woke up. She woke up because of a loud and disturbing noise. This noise shattered many windows which annoyed the townsfolk somewhat. One piece of townsfolk, Jeremy, even went as far as to place the blame on a poor unsuspecting woman named Katrina. Katrina was never seen again, but nobody thought it to be Jeremy's doing as the remaining pieces of townsfolk weren't very bright. Jade, however, had her suspicions...

Jade awoke the next morning and went straight to Jeremy's house for an explanation, and Jeremy gave her one. It just wasn't quite what she was expecting.

"I placed the blame on Katrina because last week she purchased a moose," he began, "and she PROMISED me she had it under control. Well, in my culture, noises such as the one we had yesterday are supposed to be signs of moose cruelty. I went next door and the moose was crippled. In my culture, all must learn the ways of the moose, and so I used my skills to force the moose to get its own back. Katrina died, but you must see, she was some kind of scary moose rapist!"

Jade found this weird but not altogether unacceptable. She decided Jeremy was a lovely boy whom she had misjudged. The couple were married in 1945, but this was not the end of the tale. Soon, the police found evidence of Jeremy's moose-y guilt, and he was put in prison, but it was OK because it was near a forest and there were moose all around to set him free. After that, the couple had to go into hiding, and so the two became wood nymphs, wearing clothes made of leaves and playing with moose, kind of like Katrina minus the raping. And so they both lived happily ever after.