Butterfly

There is a thing, formless yet complete. Before heaven and earth it existed. Without sound, without substance, it stands alone and unchanging. It is all-pervading and unfailing. We do not know its name, but we call it Tao. .. Being one with nature, the sage is in accord with the Tao. (Lao Tzu)



I had no other thoughts then to keep myself up in the air the wind slipping through my fingers and across my arms made me beat even faster, to keep beating away at the wind so that I could stay in the sky forever and never fall down. A thought like this seemed more like an instinct then a thought, the desire to stay airborne was stronger than any other, I don’t know where it came from but what I do know is that I must stay in the air until the light fades from the sky in a giant orange stain that pervades to the deep black night. At that time only did I know I can finally rest after revelling in the feeling of the cool slippery wind, yet I still wonder why I can never do anything before that than aimlessly beat around in the summer sky?



Once again it is light and another day begins again with cold wet air sticking to my skin, as I stretch out my arms wide I start to wave them around until I begin to float in the air again. I don’t know why but today seems different then yesterday, since yesterday I did nothing but float, today I seem to be looking for something yet I don’t know what it is yet it is still a very strong urge to find “something“. But I can feel my own determination building up to find this “something” that I don’t know but know that I will desperately need it later on. Will today turn out like yesterday? or will it be completely different? or even only slightly different by a few select things that have a large impact on peoples memories? In the end it turned out the same, the only different thing is I searched instead of floated around aimlessly, yet I still did not find anything. Nothing to quench this desire in my chest and so as the sky was stained by the coming of night I turn to the ground to sleep until I awoke to new light.



The next day the sky seemed to be ablaze like I had never seen before and it left me speechless even if only for a second. While the whole sky was nothing but a dull grey when I opened my eyes I saw nothing but a bright white slightly tinged by blue and I could not help but stare at this. But before I knew it the blaze faded away to grey and the sky rumbled away as the clouds cling to each other to stop the light from showing its face. It was then when the clouds completely covered the sky that yesterdays urge became the strongest, stronger than I thought it ever would become and I quickly spread my arms and pushed myself away from my sleeping spot and looked for something that I didn’t even know anything about. But at that time fat drops of rain started to sporadically started to fall from the sky and my urge turned to panic and I tried to go for cover but a drop hit my arm knocking me to the ground. As the rain got heavier so did my arms the wetter I got and before I knew it I couldn’t lift them up anymore at all. As I desperately tried to push myself off the ground with my ruined arms the more hopeless it seemed till I was surrounded by water till I could no longer breath.



When my eyes next opened again I was back in my bed where I had been from the start, with the rain sliding against my window like it has been all night, with light leaking through draped across my eyes. Was it really me or was it a dream? A dream of my butterfly wings.