Heart Less

You were once my friend. You still say you are. But are you really. You don` t talk to me. You don` t hang out with me. The only time you will talk with me is if it` s about your self. I don` t matter to you do I? Is it that you find your life perfect? That you see me as an imperfection that will drag you down and make you sad. Is that why you shut me out of your life. When are friendship started to drift and I was splashing in the water try ing to reach you. Did you try to reach out and help? Or did you simply let the drift take you away? Do you think of the hurt full things that you say to me? Your drowning me slowly. When You talk to me you pull me up. I think that things are going to get better. But I am a fool. It is simply better to drown. When your done you shove me back into the water to drown. But each time I drown faster. I had a taste of happiness and all it did was bring missery. Your killing me slowly. But you don` t care do you? Your life is perfect. I`m just a weed in the flowers. I` m happy to be with beauty. But I have to go. I thought that you were a flower. But you were a rose. I hugged you and your thorns stabbed me. They brought me pain. The only thing in this life that is real. When we first met I was in love. I didn` t say because love is something that is made for others. But not me. Then you tell me you love me. I was filled with joy a gave you my heart. You just took it with you. You didn` t want to be with me. You have my heart as a reminder so I remain heartless. I quench for love and compasion which will never come. You took it with you and made me the tin man. All I want to do is feel emotions other then the ones I have. But I can` without my heart. I want to smile and mean it but all I can do is pull my lips back and act. Act like I` m happy. Act like there is hope. Act like I` m okay. When all I can do is cry on the inside and slowly die each day. I would never let you feel this pain. You could not handle it. My pain is suicidal. The path you` d take if you were in my shoes. I loved you. But now I feel nothing for you. I want you to suffer for my pain. I wanto rip your heart out. I want to drown you like you did me. So you` ll feel my pain. Or is this a lie? Deep down inside me do I still love you and I feel this way to prevent pain or am I rotten to the core? I was a kind loving person but now what am I? My voice sounds like it belongs to someone else. I look in the mirror and don` t know that it` s me staring back. I feel like a monster. One born of pain and sorrow. I` m alive as a sighn of the cold hearts of people. I wander hollow inside. Enjoying the pain of others. Making mine less of a burden. All I can look forward to is death. The man who can kill this monster and put an end to this pain. But I don` t know how long I must suffer. All I can do is be the monster I have become, and hide behind this mask that convices people I` m human.
If you are reading this then I hope you think of your life. Is there a monster that you created? Or are you creating one now? Be carefull of how you treat people. If you don` t then you would have created your own monster. A soul that is hollow and with no hope. What could have become of this lost soul? If only you would open your heart. To let the weed grow with the flowers. To pull the person out of the water and hold them close.