Blooming feathers of the selfless

Blooming feathers of the selfless

The vision was pitch black and everything smelled like mud and sounded like weeping wind.Something grabbed my body, I wasn’t sure whether it was holding my neck or my hands, It was as if my whole body was pinned down by an enormous heavy presence. That unknown was solid yet kind of watery, so bright radiating with brilliance and grace. I couldn’t open my eyes, I was only able to feel that graceful yet gentle light, I felt a satisfying inferiority.


I was unable to move or resist, I was short on breath and felt as if it was being sucked out of my lungs slowly, my heart was vaguely beating, yet bursting with a warm flow even though my hands were as cold as ice.


“I…can’t…breathe!” I said in a weak voice, which I tried to shout out several times. “Let…go of…me!” I voiced those words in a slightly stronger tone. “Don’t you want to see it? “ That enormous radiant being whispered in a straight manner with an echoing, dreamy, yet mellow voice.


Then I saw a flash of memories in my mind, of my life, of my home and my loved ones. The bursting flow inside my chest faded, I was getting weaker little by little, until I couldn’t feel the great body that was holding me and couldn’t tell the difference between sight, smell, or sound just as much as I couldn’t feel the cruel cold ice on my cheeks, hands or feet. I tried to speak, but my voice wouldn’t come out regardless of how much I tried. I couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything other than this complete silence and darkness. I didn’t know whether that glowing being was still present or gone. I was only struck by thoughts of a horrifying confusion. I tried to recall a familiar face in desperation for strength, but I couldn’t remember anything or anyone.


As silence remained for several moments, the only thing I felt was something being ripped gently at the center of my chest, which caused me an agonizing pain that no human could bear. I couldn’t scream or even ask someone to stop the pain; I was only able to suffer this unendurable torment.


Suddenly the pain stopped, my body was lighter somehow, I just knew and remembered what happened like I have never been through it myself.


I opened my eyes, I looked where I lied, At this icy trail, aligned by a limitless sea of bushy trees, a frozen stream extended across the misty path, the night sky was dark and not a single star in sight. Then I stood up and ran through this endless path. I let my feet lead the way through the nowhere, I didn’t know where they were taking me, but I wanted to be somewhere other than this obscure place. The trees were getting bushier and the darkness was getting deeper.


I ran until my feet couldn’t run anymore, I was running in a misty maze without knowing where to go or who I was. I searched for a familiar scenery, sound, smell or even someone. Then I noticed the same crystallized stream, I was running in circles. I stepped in closer to look, but I only saw a reflection of a girl staring straight back at me, reflecting a faint pearly glow and seemed transparent. The clouds thundered in anger, raindrops softly poured into the white snow and I wondered if the night sky was crying for me?


Suddenly, I noticed something that wasn’t there before, a few steps away in front of me a young woman lying on the icy ground, her long light brown hair flowing beside her body, her sky-blue eyes wide open and her ripped red clothes revealing parts of her slender and tall figure.


“You there, are you alright?” I said to the young woman, but she ignored me, I walked a little closer very cautiously to have a clearer look, she was looking at me with no expression, she had a familiar face, which the severe cold weather turned into a bluish white shade.


I tried to touch her hand, but once I did there was a heat, I felt that I was melting, as if I was being sucked in, my right arm was being pulled inside, then my head to my thighs, I screamed as loud as I could, I struggled with all the strength that I had then I was freed to fall on the ground.


As I stepped back in panic, depending on my knees, an illuminating flash crossed my mind, warm feelings bloomed inside me, I felt the heavy warmth within, That I once knew what it was but never did realize how it felt until that moment.


I sat beside the lifeless young woman, in the endless cold night with storms of emotions rising inside me, feeling anxiety, confusion, hope and sympathy and thinking about my past, present and future. Will you listen to my story? This could be my last chance.