The Longest Winter

Vast oceans of snow had covered just about everything, always falling like a heavy rain. As if there was no end in sight. I hated the snow; it reminded me every day that this place would never be warm. Frozen like the barren wasteland it was. Alaska was always cold and would always be cold, so far away from the other states up where it’s cold. My house was out where most were not. Out where the houses were a good twenty minutes apart, at least twenty minute walks. The closest town was maybe a good thirty minute drive away. My school was the worst place of all, a private school and the only school in this area. I wore the same thing every day; it was required to wear this. A black tie, white collared shirt and black long pants and dress shoes. Actually these were the only clothes I owned, six pairs of the same sets of clothes that way I didn’t have to make any decisions. Things were easier this way. Making too many decisions just made me tired and I didn’t like to sleep or feel fatigued.
It had been a year since I woke up feeling heavy and tired that one school morning. I can still remember the bell ringing in my ear for school, everything felt worse than it was. I was told I was mentally ill, the doctors said it was depression. Well that is what they told my mom. They gave me medicine but it did not help at all and from what I remember I threw them into the creek nearby. I let out a deep breath as I sat at my small wooden desk, the lights dimmed and the black paint on the walls making everything darker than they were. With a black marker I scribbled the faces of kings and queens on the decks of cards. “What are you doing?” spoke out Damien; he glared at me in a bored manner with his blue eyes. “Dethroning Kings and Queens.” I sighed in reply to his question giving him a most disappointing answer. There was a knock at the door “Gabriel!” shouted mom. The door had been locked as it always was.
“You gonna let her in?”
“No”
“Well why not?”
“I have no words to trade with her”
“Very well”
She knocked again “Gabriel who are you talking to?” she asked as a piece of paper could be heard crinkling in her hand. When I got up and unlocked the door mom looked around and saw no one else. I looked at her before saying “No one...” I paused for a second “no one at all”. She was angry as she glared at me with her beating eyes “What is this?” she put a letter from one of my teachers in my face as I looked at it.
“It’s called paper”
“Don’t get smart with me I mean why am I getting letters from your teachers!?”
“I don’t know why don’t you write back and find out?”
“Now I’ve had enough of your attitude, the paper says you refused an answer a question you were asked!”
“It was a stupid question”
Off she walked mumbling as I expected she would as I looked back and Damien was gone also as intended. He always left when my parents appeared or well when anyone else popped up. Actually now that I think about it. Every time I saw something most people did not and my friends were always disappearing and appearing when unexpected. I tried not to think to much on the subject as I laid down in my bed to end the night. It felt like a short day as I fell into a sleep that I hopped to not awaken from. As I lay there I felt my eyes grow heavy hoping I would not dream, how I hated dreaming.
“Gabriel… GABRIEL!” WACK! I was awaken by a ruler being smacked against the side of my desk were my hand was close to impact with the wooden stick. I opened my eyes sitting at my desk; I had dozed off during history class. Misses. ick and her weezly voice and pimpled filled face. She was almost like a witch from a Halloween decoration or a story book. Her nose long and her eyes narrow, her hair nappy and long always back in a pony tail. Her voice pierced through me like a spear it drove me nuts. “Im glade you decided to join us today now start writing”, I looked at her dully “about what?”. She walked to her desk snorting as she always did to a almost disgusting and gargling cough. When she walked away I looked around before turning my attention to the white writing upon the black bored. “What in your opinion is the most effective type of government?” I read to myself quietly before looking down to pen in hand and paper at desk. As I looked at the window to the right of me I saw the gray blue sky covered in clouds as the snow fell hard. The snow plows would be out today and kids would go and play in the large piles that would be raised above the usual height. Snow forts and snow ball fights. This place was full of them. What else is there to do in a place so barren?
I watched the sky twist and turn as I saw a small school out right outside, an old one that was never there before. I was curious as I continued to look at it. Miss. Ick walked to me and glared at me than out the window “what are you staring at” I flinched from the sound of her voice. As my eyes followed to her face and back out the window seeing it was gone. “Nothing” I said in a tired tone and she made her way back to her desk. “I expect these by tomorrow… your all dismissed!”
Having missed the bus I had to walk home. Through the rough cold snow I dragged my feet like ragdolls. Extra weight being only a burden to I. The road ahead was longer than intended feeling cold and heavy my house was about a mile down still. The black pants getting all wet and soaks beneath my shoes soaked. In my image the sky looked as if it was twisting and turning as I became ill. Through my almost dazed state I finally worked my way home to the front door and in. Up the stairs seemed to be my destination but I heard a faint voice that seemed to be yelling. “Gabriel come to the garage!” a man’s voice I walked down and into the garage in hopes of something delightful, in hopes of something not so familiar. Fooling myself I came down to a disappointing sight, my father. Only sighs escaped my when I saw him finishing working on his car and sitting down on the bench that was piled with tools that he had moved prior to sitting. Walking over various objects I plopped down next to him looking in his direction in order to get a understanding when he spoke.
“You know your brother went to collage and has a family now”
“So?”
“Well what do you have planned?”
“I don’t know yet”
“Your seventeen you got to decide soon”
“When im ready I will”
“Maybe you should be like your brother”
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
The garage cold as ever the feeling of the room grew gloomy and dark. Compared to another is like being shot with a bullet through the chest. I could feel it already the singing pain it struck me like a the quick pain of a bees sting. I looked to the sides trying to ignore his gaze and the words he spoke. “You know do sports, join clubs, and maybe dress like him.” He spoke deeply and with great expression following his words. I had to end the conversation “Is that all?” he looked at me before saying “yea”. Without hesitation I stood and ascended from the garage to the upstairs. I lay in my bed that night but never slept; I thought and thought about everything like a filing cabinet sorting through. A filing cabinet where most of the documents were missing or were never put in. The night was long as I stared at the ceiling for hours on. Day and Night spent staring at the black dry paint.
I put on the next outfit on the rack when I left grabbing my backpack filling it with food and two bottles of water. School was not the designated destination today. I walked down into town coming to a few shops and an old apartment. It was falling apart and had been uninhabited for years. I stumbled in making my way over many piles of old stuff before coming to the top floor where a bed was. Sitting on the old rough bed and Lay back against the back bored looking in the bag of the stuff I brought. Canned goods that would be eaten cold. Two bottles of water that I would make last. The first seven days went by pretty fast all without sleep. I mainly sat there and thought about things.
One of my usual subjects of thought was the meaning of life and death. Sometimes I thought maybe to understand life first we all had to die. Be no more be one of none existence once again like we all were at one point. Sometimes I ask myself if the grass is greener on the other side. Days came and went as sleep never came to let me dream and rest silently and without worry. My eyes were heavy and I was very drowsy. My reaction was slow and I began to see things. Illusions like I usually did just these were more real. Damien stood next to me as I forgot to eat today. He just looked at me before sirens of police cares ran by and when I looked to him he was gone. I felt horrible and laid down forgetting to eat. The last three days I laid there feeling my eyes began to shut at once. I was finally able to sleep when I saw a large wave falling down on me standing on wet green grass. Closing my eyes as the police sirens ran more and stopped outside the building. My eyes shut and shut for good.