Feeling pain even though I shouldn't |
I hate the way I feel. I hate the feelings I feel. I can't make the pain go away, It stings my heart but heals my soul. I want to love you but at the same time I want to hate you. I curse your name but I revel in your ignorance. My sorrow turns into hated memories, Memories I can’t control or get rid of. I want you but I don't. You kill me but you bring me back to life. I’ve never felt so alive but I feel so dead inside, I struggle to break free but I just can’t struggle anymore. I give into the feeling of hatred. I hate how I feel about you. You are my demise but you are my savior. Everything turns into bliss but I always want to push you away, I rage at myself but I keep my arms open to you. I hide how I feel but everyone always sees the truth. You mirror back what I'm scared to say. I hide how I feel but everyone always sees the truth. I say I love you but I don't mean it. I laugh but I want to cry. The pain torturing me on the inside, You make me feel at peace but I always feel inner turmoil. I can’t breathe without screaming. I can’t love without all the hate. I want to love everything you do but the pain just makes it hard to see clearly. I’m blind but I can see everything that is hidden deep within your heart. You have given me no lies but I still want to push you away. It feels so wrong to say that you aren’t who you used to be, I want you but at the same time I don’t know who you’ve become. My sorrow is my sweet oblivion to the present but my tears are from the past. I want everything as it is but I want it to change to the old times. |