What Marriage Is

The bride scanned the room one last time before turning back to her mom. The woman's eyes were tearful, but her mouth had a warm smile. She took her mom's hand, held it. “It'll be ok, I am not going anywhere. I'll always be your daughter no matter what else happens in my life. That won't be taken from you.”

Her mom nodded then said “I know, I just never knew you'd grow up so soon. It seems like only yesterday that I had you.” She shook her head “I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. If he makes you happy then I am happy.” She wiped away a straying tear with a embroidered handkerchief then smiled at her daughter. “It won't be easy. People always think about the wedding, they never think about the actual being married. Getting married is easy. It's nerve wracking, of course, but basically you stand there and listen while the preacher talks and then you smile and cry as you say your vows and beam happily as he says his. You sign on the dotted line and you give hugs and shake hands and you dance and cut the cake. And you wonder how anything could ever feel so wonderful. Then you go on your honeymoon and the world is wonderful and magical. Then you come home and the day you come home from your honeymoon is the day your marriage actually starts. The first time you find his dirty socks on the floor and it irritates you, That's marriage. The first time you break down crying together because nothing is going right, That's marriage. The first time you have to pay the bills and worry that there won't be enough to cover everything that month. Well, that's marriage too. Then there is the other side of marriage. The side where you always have someone to talk to even if you don't really have anything to say. Where he randomly brings you home flowers, and you randomly leave a love note in his coat pocket for him to find at work. Not saying that will happen the two of you might not be that type. But they'll be other little ways you show your love for each other. Things that to others may be silly or corny or cheesy, but they'll be yours each will be a bright ray of warmth into your hearts. For a minute you'll forget the daily problems that come with being married. For a minute it will seem like you have the greatest life in the world. And for that minute you'll be right. They'll be days when you hate each other. You can't spend a lifetime together and always get along but at the end of those days you'll close your eyes and sleep better simply because he's beside you.” she wiped away another tear and smiled at her daughter

“When I married your father we thought we knew it all, we thought we knew each other inside out. That was twenty three years ago. You know to this day he still manages to surprise me. To catch me off guard with little things. don't ever think you know everything about him. You'll grow bored with him if you do. Instead remember that he's changing just as you are changing. The trick is to grow together rather than apart.” She handed her a framed picture picture of a couple of trees with their roots tangled together. Kate took it and looked at her curiously. “This is to remind you that if your roots are entangled you can't be separated without it destroying both of you.” while to most the picture would be an odd wedding gift for a mother to give a daughter. Kate understood her mother well enough to know that it wasn't the gift that was important, it was the words that accompanied it. The picture itself was just to remind her of the words long after she forgot the exact shape of them.