Finding me

Moving... It seems harmless if your with your family or a friend! How about moving to an unknown situation, family, love, life? I am separated a year now from my children's mother, and my boys are everything to me. My relationship with the mother is unstable and unquestionably the only thing in my life I almost regret if it were not for the sake of the children. For the sake of my children, going back, I would have waited to have children knowing what I know now, but wouldn't most of us? Upon visiting My family in new york, I ran into a beautiful girl with convictions of her own. Married with three children, to a husband in prison. Being as we are with our situations, that young desire for love and lust in us, we made a relationship. She will divorce and I will move to where she is but in doing so must leave my two boys behind with what an unreasonably a lot of people call and unfit mother.... Custody is not an option at this time until I am settled, meaning, having a place to call home for them. Now, being up in New York before december is crucial. The husband comes home and my presence must be made If she is to stand a chance at his prying back into her life. At the same time I will become established and make the trips and visits needed to see the boys and my possibly gaining custody from my children's mother. While apart and so far away, trust has become an issue for me. Although I trust whole heartedly she remains faithful, I cannot however stop the ideas of possibly losing her, considering the sacrifices I am making. I believe though, that I cannot truly be happy with my children and smile 100% unless I myself am at 100%. Some may ask, "what if your never happy"? Love is all I seek, need and desire. With love, failure is no longer an option as it once was and I begin to feel the weight of any choice I choose to make as if it weren't even there. Knowing you are supported in what you do is important in any relationship. There are those little things that bother me, being treated as you would like to be treated, but we all like to be treated different, so I must learn this....A lot on my mind now so I will leave with that...