My Heaven.

    Inside me there's a world... a world full of good, a world that always sees the best in people, a paradise, a heaven. It tries to make me think everything’s okay... when it's not. Maybe there's something wrong with me, or maybe everyone has their own little personal heaven.
    Sometimes my heaven turns into a hell. All the lies my heaven tell me to make everything okay aren't believed anymore. All the fears come back and I'm left scared in the background while my heaven tries to restore order. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it hits hard. Luckily my heaven doesn't take very long to come back and protect me.
    Sometimes my heaven is too protective. It tries to protect me from things that mean no harm. It puts me in a shell and it doesn't let me out. I fight and I fight, I try to escape but the shell is so hard... I'm just not strong enough to break it.
    Even though my heaven is sort of controlling and selfish it also shows me the beautiful aspects of the world. Like how amazing it is to simply watch the rain hit the windshield and dance up and down as if it could hear the music inside the car. To lay out in a field and watch the beautiful stars twinkle in the pitch black sky. To see a newborn child for the first time, the perfection in their face, the kindness in their eyes. To watch a beautiful swan building a nest for it's young, how careful and graceful it is. My heaven has showed me so many things that I would never noticed without it. I am grateful to my heaven for showing me these things, and in return I appreciate and respect them.